Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I am Brave (and Humble, too)

I e-mailed the pastoral director at the CCC to tell her I wasn't sure if I would make it for the funeral (though I'd really like to be there to support my friend), and to leave without me if they didn't see me in the parking lot when they are leaving.

Well, I also told her that we should do lunch sometime, because I am ready to put the past in the past.

That's the brave part.

The CCC hurt me deeply. The whole experience there made me question my value as a person, and made me question my whole belief system. Some of those wounds will never heal, but I think I need to finally find closure on that part of my life. I thought officially joining the congregation I joined would do it, but while I am happy in my faith life, something still isn't right.

So maybe if I can meet with her on neutral turf (not in her office or the admin building of the church in any way, shape, or form), I can finally let go of all that stuff.


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