Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I Never Do This, But...

Two quizzes in a row. This is amazingly accurate, actually...

You're Lebanon!

Your room's a mess. Your house is a mess. Heck, your life
is a mess. It all used to be really beautiful, and someone even compared you to Paris
once, but that's all been replaced with heartache and struggle. You're small, have been
influenced by outsiders for too long, and don't know what to think about religion. At
least you smell rather pleasant!

the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid


I like Vonnegut, but I've never read this. May have to stop by B&N on the way home...

You're Mother Night!

by Kurt Vonnegut

Nobody knows what to believe about you, and you know least of all. You
spent most of your time convinced that the ends justify the means, but your means were,
well, downright mean! And the end is nigh. Meanwhile all you want is to travel back in
time, if not to change, then to just delight in the way it used to be. You are who you
pretend to be. Oh yes, you're the great pretender.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Monday, June 27, 2005

I'm a Horrible Human Being, Aren't I?

OK. Here's the story.

I've written about Annoying Co-Worker many times. AC and I are like oil and water in terms of personality. Add to that the weird dynamic that we are on the same level now and that she used to supervise me (well, watch me do all the work that she was supposed to be doing), and the fact that she has a naturally very condescending tone, and well, I just don't get along with her.

I spent the weekend fretting about this huge project our department has to do and that I have to work with her on. She is slower than kingdom come in her work, and what she produces is never first-quality. I very frequently have to go back over her work and fix it before it can make it into the hands of the person it was intended for. Yet she gets all the privledges in the world, such as going to training classes, a laptop, a Treo, etc. And she makes about $20K more a year than I do.

Well, on Friday morning, after we were assigned this project on Thursday (actually the other three of us in the office stayed up until the wee hours on Wednesday night/Thursday morning starting it), she comes in and looks at what I had been working on and says in a terribly condescending manner, "I looked at what you've been doing, and it's...good...really. But I'm not going to be able to use it to do my analysis." That was the wrong thing to say to me at that point in time. I asked her what she meant, and she said that she needed to have all the monthly information in one table in order to do the correlation analysis. I replied that our manager wanted a month-by-month comparison, and asked her why they all had to be in one table. She replied that I couldn't possibly understand and neither could our manager because we aren't statisticians. At that point I yelled at her that I was gathering the data and putting it in the format our manager asked for, and that she could do whatever she needed to do. She yelled back and said, "God, Sheryl, I'm just trying to communicate with you!"

I replied, "I'm sorry if I'm snippy, but J and T and I all were up until 2 a.m. or later pulling together the preliminary analysis on this Wednesday night and I'm just plain tired, so you do what you need to do, and I'll do what I need to do, and we'll just go from there." Yeah, it wasn't the most professional thing I could have done.

Well, T (the manager) is at a corporate leadership conference this week. I've looked at what AC has produced, and all she had done is to combine the files and to save them in three different databases. That's it. J and I were really worried that she wasn't going to produce what needed to be done, which isn't fair to T because she already has enough on her plate. So we decided while AC was out of the office at a doctor's appointment that we would our parts of the project as well as AC's part, so that T wouldn't be stressed when AC didn't give her what she wanted next week.

Then, the CIO's (T's boss) secretary called and the CFO was looking for a report that AC was supposed to have done weeks ago, and apparently never finished. I had to scramble to get it done ASAP. Things aren't looking good for AC, considering she was skating on thin ice as it was.

Well, she comes back from the doctor's office and is sniffling. She says that she'll be in late tomorrow, and when I ask her what's wrong, she says she has to have a biopsy.

Now here is why I'm a horrible person. I'm frustrated enough with her that I can't even be sympathetic. Not that I wish her any ill, in fact I stopped what I was doing and prayed for her on the spot. But I just can't bring myself to say anything to her, and in fact I didn't say anything but, "I see." I just don't want to try to be nice and sympathetic outloud while I have some resentment still harbored within me. I'm afraid I'll say something I'll regret, and I'm afraid I won't sound sincere.

And, subconsciously, I'm afraid I wouldn't be sincere. All this weekend, I kept saying that if it came down to her and me, and the company kept her, I'd be looking for another job. She had me in tears on Friday, and feeling physically ill with stress this weekend.

But if she isn't going to be here anymore, I don't want it to be like this. I don't want it to be because of tragedy. I feel horribly guilty, and I don't know what to do.

{SIGH} Now I feel ill because I feel guilty. I just want to cry...

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Paris? Really?

Saw this on Amy's blog. Don't know that I agree, but...

You Belong in Paris

Stylish and a little sassy, you were meant for Paris.

The art, the fashion, the wine, the men!

Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park...

You'll love living in the most chic place on earth

What City Do You Belong in? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Best Search Phrase EVER!

So my hit counter provides the referring URL and search terms when someone comes upon my blog from a search engine. Here's what I found on one of my hits today:

how many cc's do I need from an A cup to become C cup with breast augmentation

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Just a Meme...

Saw this on Mark's blog and it looked like fun, so...

  • My uncle once: bought me a typewriter so I would pass high school chemistry.
  • Never in my life: have I been outside the US.
  • High school was: largely a miserable experience until senior year.
  • I will never forget: the last 8th grade class I taught.
  • I once met: Nick Saban? He went to my former church.
  • Once at a bar: I saw some guy perform who was a cross between and Elvis impersonator and Rip Taylor. He was locally famous around Pittsburgh.
  • By noon I'm usually: hearing about a new project I have to do.
  • Last night: I had kippers for dinner. Yum!
  • If only I had: about six extra hours in a day, I'd finally finish the great American novel.
  • Next time I go to church: will be Sunday (boring, I know).
  • When I turn my head left: I see the rocking chair my mom and dad rocked me to sleep in.
  • When I turn my head right: I see my front wall (which is just two floor to ceiling windows and a sliding glass door).
  • You know when I'm lying when: I stutter.
  • Every day I think about: the fact that I've been out of college for 11 years and I still owe almost $30,000 in student loans.
  • By this time next year: I will have a higher level job in my current company.
  • I have a hard time understanding: how people who spew messages of hate can claim to speak in the name of God.
  • If I ever go back to school I'll: either be doing something job -related or starting an MFA in creative writing.
  • You know I like you when: I'm comfortable enough to joke around you.
  • If I won an award the first person I'd thank is: my mom and dad, followed by my high school biology teacher, who was hands down the best teacher I ever had.
  • My ideal breakfast is: cinnamon roll Pop-Tarts.
  • A song I love, but do not have is: pretty much every song I love. The church I used to work for stole most of my CDs, and I just haven't gotten aournd to replacing them.
  • If you visit my hometown, I suggest: going to the museums in Oakland. Beyond that, bring a good book - Pittsburgh isn't that thrilling.
  • Why won't anyone: in Baton Rouge ever use turn signals?
  • If you spend the night at my house: I'll take the couch - you get stuck with my lumpy mattress.
  • I'd stop my wedding for: nothing, on the off chance I ever marry.
  • The world could do without: religious extremism, intolerance, and blue food.
  • I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: sit through a Bill Cosby movie.
  • Paper clips are more useful than: anything else human kind has ever invented - except for duct tape.
  • If I do anything well: I most likely wouldn't even realize it.
  • And by the way: I once ran myself over with a 15 passenger van.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Send in the Clowns...

We had clowns at church yesterday, leading the worship. I don't know what I think about that. On the one hand, the kids loved it, the old folks loved it (which surprised me), and it was a great kick-off to VBS, "Davey and Goliath's Circus Something-or-Other." On the other hand, it was clowns, and clowns are...well...kind of freaky. I'm not one of those people who are afraid of them, but they do make me uncomfortable and self-conscious for some reason. And that isn't necessarily something I want to feel in the course of worship.

Maybe I'm becoming an old fuddy-duddy as I approach middle age. Of course, it was the childless young adults who were most freaked by the proceedings yesterday, so maybe it means I'm still a young adult at heart.

Or maybe clowns really are just creepy.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Dream a Little Dream...

Just had to share this. I've been dreaming about work a lot lately (probably because I spend way too much time in the office). This morning I had the most bizarre dream of them all (to date, anyway).

I dreamt that a bunch of us from work were traveling somewhere and we were all working in a hotel. I had taken something across the room to someone else and as I was walking back to my spot, my boss's boss (the one I'm doing so much work for) said, "Sheryl, I need you to do something for me." So I went over to her and she handed me a credit card and said, "I need you to go and get me a big stack of (unintelligible) implants." I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat herself, and she said, "I need you to go and get me a big stack of Something Implants." (In the dream, I could understand the word that time, but I don't remember it now)

I said to her, "I'm sorry, BB, but I have no idea what Something Implants are."

She got a frustrated look on her face and said - rather loudly, "They're birth control implants. Now go get me a stack of them."

That's when I woke up. Don't think I want to analyze that one too much.

Is It Really the 21st Century?

This article was in the paper today. I know Louisiana is conservative, and I know that a lot of the state, even some of the cities, is rather backwoods. But come on - how can there even be debate on bill that is designed to eliminate bias against homosexuals and bisexuals in state jobs? How can that even be an issue?

Oh, and the comments from the "ministers" about how God won't bless the state if this bill passes. Please. God has bigger fish to fry that whether a gay man or a lesbian holds a civil service job in a tiny little state.

It's hard being a liberal in the deep south.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

If You Want My Body, and You Think I'm Sexy...

...sorry, I'm too tired.

I haven't been sleeping well of late. I have trouble falling asleep, then I wake up at 5 a.m., sometimes with a nightmare. Haven't had one of those in years until recently. Bad dreams, sure, but not heart pounding, heavy breathing type nightmares.

Work is incredibly stressful right now, which probably has something to do with it. This project may be the death of me. I'm learning a lot, but it's a lot of tedious work, and I hate tedious work (like making binder after binder after binder - I may never touch another binder again after this). Not to mention the long hours, and being salaried non-exempt, the long hours aren't worth it. I looked up on the Department of Labor's website to see how they calculate overtime for employees in that class. They divide the salary for that period by the total hours worked to get the hourly rate for that period. Then for the overtime hours, they divide that rate by .5. As an example, lets say I made...$1000 a week (I wish!). And lets say I worked...50 hours that week. That's $20 an hour. So then for the 10 hours I worked over 40, they pay me $10 an hour. That stinks. Last pay period I worked 18 hours over, and my hourly rate for those hours came out to be just a little over $4. So not worth the effort.

Then Annoying Co-Worker seems to have made it her personal mission in life to drive me to commit homicide. Or perhaps it's just her passive-aggressive way of committing suicide. Either way, she's driving me crazy. She seems bound and determined to convince me that she is a better person than me by giving me all kinds of menial tasks, but doing it with a spoonful of sugar and asking instead of telling. But, as the saying goes, I wasn't born yesterday. I know what she is doing, and I don't like it at all.

I have more to say than just complaints. Really, I do. But I'm just too tired to write more (and I have about three more hours at work tonight to go). While you are waiting for me to be inspired, go read this guy's most recent sermon (it's the first or second entry on the page). He's a seminarian, and I think he'll make a great pastor someday.