Stupid Dilemma

I'm trying to decide if I should buy a heavier coat. A catalog I order form sometimes has all their coats on clearance right now, and there are some nice ones at good prices. The problem is that it is really only cold enough here to require something heavier than my sweatshirt about..15-20 days out of the year. I don't plan to travel north in the winter...well...ever. But when it gets cold here, it is really cold, and it's a damp, biting kind of cold.

Sigh. What a stupid thing to be worrying about.

Class Meme

This one came from LutherPunk, though I've seen it elsewhere, too.

Bold the ones that are true.

1. Father went to college

He went two years on the GI Bill, but they were pushing him to major in business, which he hated, so he quit and went to work tending bar.

2. Father finished college

3. Mother went to college

4. Mother finished college

I'm the only one on my mom's side to have even attended college, let alone finished

5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor

two cousins who are attorneys

6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers.

7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home.

One thing my parents never skimped on

8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home.

9. Were read children’s books by a parent

By both parents, actually. That's one of my favorite early memories.

10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18

Had one year of classical guitar before we came to the realization that if I still couldn't tune my own guitar after a year, I was never going to be able to play very well. My parents paid for lessons partially in trade (mom cleaned the teacher's studio)

11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18

12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed postively

13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18

14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs

15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs

My parents couldn't afford to do much more than give me a little spending money every now and then. The federal government, state government, private scholarships, Gannon grants and scholarships, and lots and lots of loans paid for my college costs.

16. Went to a private high school

17. Went to summer camp.

Girl Scout camp the summer before 5th grade for one week

18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18

No, but I tutored other kids to pick up a little extra cash

19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels

I vaguely recall one vacation to Sea World in Cleveland when I was around 4 where we stayed in a motel for at least a couple days of the trip (we stayed with relatives for the rest), and I have pictures of a trip we took to Hersheypark when I was probably about 2 - I assume that involved a motel, too. But since we didn't take any vacations at all after I was 5 or 6, I'm not bolding this one.

20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18

21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them

22. There was original art in your house when you were a child

If you count my uncle's paint-by-numbers, which I do. They were huge paintings, and they had to take him a good long while to complete.

23. You and your family lived in a single-family house

Yes, if you count a townhouse. They bought it (thanks to the VA) when I was 18 months old.

24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home

If you count two mortgages as owning

25. You had your own room as a child

Benefit of being an only

26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18

27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course

28. Had your own TV in your room in high school

29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college

I'm lucky I had a savings account!

30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16.

First time I flew I was 23. I went with my mother to Milwaukee for her surgery.

31. Went on a cruise with your family

Does the Gateway Clipper county? No?

32. Went on more than one cruise with your family

33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up

Yep. The advantage of living in Andrew Carnegie's city - a fantastic natural history and art museum he founded that had low cost admission.

34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family

I knew how much we paid on the budget plan for gas every month, and I knew why there were afghans and blankets all over the house in the winter.


11/34 - 32%.


Not sure what the significance of this is. I can tell you that we always struggled with money. I got free lunches in high school. I was only able to go to a Catholic elementary school because my parents were able to pay part of the tuition in trade (and because the pastor gave them a break even beyond that). I wore hand-me-downs (getting uniforms in 7th grade was the best thing that ever happened to me). I didn't even get my drivers license in high school, and I rode the bus everywhere.

But, at the same time, by parents cherished me and made sacrifices for me. I had books as a kid, though most came from library sales and second-hand shops. My parents read to me and with me for as long as I can remember. I went to pre-K, which studies are showing now is important for future academic success (and it was another place that I had a Presbyterian influence in my life). I played sports (badly) and had guitar lessons (sooo not a success). I took summer classes in things I was interested in at Buhl Planetarium (now Carnegie Science Center) and the Community College of Allegheny County (paid for in part by the principal and pastor from my elementary school - which I didn't know until much later). Ever since I started reading on my own when I was around 4, it was just assumed that I'd go to college and that we'd figure out how to make that work when the time came. And that's what we did.

Here's what I think. How much money your family does or doesn't have doesn't matter a whole lot. What matters is what you do with what you have. We couldn't go on overnight vacation, but my parents took me to every historical site, museum, etc. that was within day trip distance and wasn't too expensive. I saw symphonies, operas, and plays by getting free tickets to dress rehersals. I watched the news with my parents and we discussed it. Heck, one of my first memories of politics was reading about the 1976 presidental elections with my dad. I think I was the only kid in my kindergarten class who even knew what an election was, let alone who was running and what their platforms were. We made liberal use of Mr. Carnegie's libraries.

Now, would I have been better off if my parents had had the money to pay for me to go on school trips, learn to play violin, and wear clothes that didn't get me teased? Maybe. But if I had to sacrifice any of my parents' love, atttention, and even discipline to get those things, I wouldn't do it. I even think I would have said that back when I was a kid, when I didn't have a TV or a phone in my room, or a car, or tickets to every concert that came to town.

I guess my point is that what matters the most is what parents' give of their time, and love, and attention, not what they give of their wallets.

I'll explain ths in the AM

If I remember anything about the dream this is about.

To see opened doors in your dream, symbolizes your receptiveness and willingness to accept new ideas/concepts. In particular, to see a light behind it suggests that you are moving toward greater enlightenment/spirituality.

To see a cat in your dream, signifies much misfortune, treachery, and bad luck. However, for the cat lover, cats signifies an independent spirit, feminine sexuality, creativity, and power. If the cat is aggressive, then it suggests that you are having problems with the feminine aspect of yourself. If you see a cat with no tail, then it signifies a lost of independence and lack of autonomy.

Dream doors can have several meanings: An open door means a new opportunity while walking through a door means you will take it. A choice of many doorways represents a difficult decision you must make in real life. A locked door means someone is hiding things or is stopping you from doing something you want, especially if you were locked out of someplace. If you are locked in, you might have a change of location in your life.

Cats represent power, freedom and the animal self, especially for females. To dream of being a cat means you will triumph in an upcoming conflict. If you don't like cats, or you have an unpleasant experience with them in your dream, you are uncomfortable in some way with the more feminine side of your personality.

We had a "daddy shower" today for a co-worker who is expecting his first child on Friday (his wife is being induced). We all chipped in and managed to get a boatload of stuff for them, and to buy a flock of chicks for a family in a developing country from Heifer.org in honor of his baby boy.

I went to that big, bricks and morter bookstore last night, the one that doesn't rhyme with orders, to get this book for him (the reason, by the way, is a very long story). I ended up buy two more books for him, too, and a stuffed tiger (or maybe tiger-striped cat - who knows?). One of the books I bought caught my eye because it was on the Valentine table in the children's section, and because the cover illustration is adorable. I looked for a daddy themed book so I could be balanced, but couldn't find one. Anyway, if you are a mother, or if you have a mother, or if you are married to a mother, go buy this book. It made me cry in that big book store that doesn't rhyme with orders. Of course, the fact that I am PMSing probably has something to do with that, but still. It is beautiful, and touching, and beautiful.

Don't you want this breed of dog?

I wonder if the name is indicative of its habits.

People, stop trying to make designer dogs and stop trying to come up with cute little names for them.

Interesting...

I didn't manipulate this at all, because I don't know that I know enough about where these various theologians stand to be able to do that (plus, there are some here I've never heard of).

I shouldn't be surprised, I guess. I've always identified with and admired Luther (yes despite my Roman Catholic upbringing and education), Anselm's influence is obvious with the academic theology angle (again, Catholic education) and Calvin...well, I've hung out with Presbyterians my whole life (Girl Scouts, Vacation Bible School, Youth Group, Kirk House). Something had to rub off.

Which theologian are you? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Martin Luther The daddy of the Reformation. You are opposed to any Catholic ideas of works-salvation and see the scriptures as being primarily authoritative. Martin Luther 73% Anselm 67% John Calvin 67% Friedrich Schleiermacher 47% Augustine 40% Karl Barth 40% Jürgen Moltmann 33% Jonathan Edwards 20% Paul Tillich 20% Charles Finney 7%

I just spelled the word "ember" out of partially eaten pretzels.

My parents would have been so proud.

The finally turned whatever it was that was making noise off at 8 o'clock this morning. Just in time for me to have to get up.

Sigh.

There is something wrong with the pool...thing in my complex. I don't know exactly what part of the pool it is, except that it is housed in a little shed right outside my door. It has been making a high-pitched sound all...night...long. I've gotten just a couple hours of sleep tonight, and that was interrupted. There are other lights on on my side of the building as well. I want $17 off my rent for next month for not being able to enjoy my apartment tonight.

Oh, and I spent an hour at Babies R Us tonight shopping for baby gifts for a coworker. An hour in that place cured me of ever wanting to have a baby ever. Well, at least until the next time I am feeling hormonal and old.

It makes me sad that someone out there is using his or her English degree to write drivel like this.

This blog-having, sweatpants wearing, boring tale is going to bed now.

Election Report

I know, I know. I said I wouldn't get political much here. And this isn't about politics as much as it is about elections.

So far, in all the elections and caucuses (except for Iowa), the voter turn out for young voters has been less than 20%. That makes me angry.

I remember in the 1988 election, I was sooo angry that I missed being able to vote in the general election by 6 months. I couldn't wait to take part in the democratic process, no matter how flawed it may be. And then, for the next primary (which in non-presidential years is in May in PA), I was so excited that I got to vote. My birthday was a week before the elections. I don't think I've ever had a prouder moment than I did when I pulled those levers for the first time. John Heinz was the first person I voted for for US Senate.

This country is facing so many challenges. It's more important now even than it was 19 years ago to educate yourself about the issues and vote. Yet young people are staying away from the primary in droves. It's sad, really. And it makes me worry about the future of our country and our world.

Let me just say that the high today was 52. Tomorrow it is supposed to be 53. Monday 59. Tuesday? 72 freaking degrees!

I think that is what I dislike most about Baton Rouge. I don't mind that the temperatures are in the 90's from April until November. But give me one or two consistent months out of the year where the temperature stays below 70. I can't take all the shifting. I hate having the heat on one day and the A/C the next.

I Hate Hormones...

...and the way them make me feel in the middle of my cycle. I'm going to be useless most of the day, and I can't afford that today - I have a deadline.

Also, the $12 I spent for an electric kettle on ebay is the best money I have ever spent in my whole life.

That is all.

In Other News...

The church was packed again today. Either people are keeping up with New Year's resolutions, church shopping to keep up with new years resolutions, and/or something good and positive is happening in my congregation. I choose to believe that it is a combination of all of those things. That makes me happy.

What doesn't make me happy is that family I've written about before. They used to sit closer to the front of the church, but either they are embarrassed by their children (unlikely, and I'll say why in a moment), or someone up there said something to them. I can't figure out why they come every week, and why they drag their kids every week. Maybe they are just biding time until the youngest gets confirmed (I think that's another couple years. The middle one is being confirmed next year). Regardless, I get the feeling every week that they would rather be somewhere else.

Today, for instance, the mother talked with the son (the oldest) about random things all through the entrance hymn. That really bothered me. It's one thing with the little kids, like the two sitting in front of me (first grade and probably 4 years old). But with a teenager? And the boy was in and out of the pew constantly during the service. Honestly, the girls sitting next to me, who are from a program for kids on the verge of being "troubled youth" are better behaved than this family's kids. And those girls only have the example of their counselor - their family lives are totally screwed up.

The middle girl, who will be confirmed in the next class, was serving as an acolyte today. She did everything she possibly could to draw attention to herself. That bothered me, too. When I was a kid, I would have given my right arm to serve at the altar, and she obviously doesn't want to and is just doing it because it is the easiest "service to the church" she can do for her confirmation requirement.

I know, I know. It isn't fair for me to judge. And I feel incredibly guilty for doing so. But I really, really don't know what to do. It is so hard for me to concentrate on the liturgy with the constant talking, moving, and text messaging going on behind me. I could sit elsewhere, but I like sitting in the back. I'm friends with the counselor from the youth program, and I like talking with those girls before and after services. And I like sitting right next to the choir because it is a little easier for me to find the right key that way (though some of those hymns are in such a high key, I'll never find it).

Part of me wants to say something, because maybe the don't realize how loud they are being, or that I can hear the kids' hitting their cell phone keys when they text their friends. But I don't think that would be a good thing. I don't want to offend them or drive them away, because maybe they are trying to get something out of worship. I don't know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the completely opposite end of the spectrum, I have to thank God for smacking me upside the head today.

I went to the grocery store tonight, and there was a guy outside begging. I initially ignored him. There are a lot of people begging in my neighborhood. I never give money, but I usually offer to buy them food. Even as I walked in the store, something in the back of my mind was saying to go ask him if I could buy him dinner. I ignored that something, did my shopping, and left. I ignored him again.

I was driving home when that voice inside my head said, "How can you sing about bearing Christ's name in church in the morning, and ignore one if His suffering children at night?" So I went back to the store, asked the guy if I could buy him some chicken, and when he said yes, I bought him some chicken (it was 8 pieces for $3.99 today, and it's cold enough outside that it'll keep for the night at least), some potato salad, and two bottles of water. It cost me the last few dollars in my checking account, but it was worth it to hear how much he appreciated being treated as human and respected, and it was worth it knowing I did the right thing, especially seeing that the guy was old, and obviously had some mental issues

I didn't write about this to boast to the world at large. I wrote about it to remind myself next time I get all self-involved that there is more going on in the world than my stupid problems. And to remind myself that if I am going to call myself a Christian, I had better do more than just saying I believe in justice for the poor, or saying that I need to reflect the light of Christ into the world. I need to actually do something about it.

Dear Baton Rouge Drivers,

I've ranted and railed about you before. I've even called you the worst drivers in the country. I've made my peace with that, however. I no longer expect you to stop at red lights or stop signs. I stopped looking for turn signals long ago. And I always drive now as though someone is going to cut me off or turn right in front of me when I have the right of way. I've even stopped expecting you to go the right direction in parking lots. I've embraced your horrible driving as just another endearing trait, like overt racism and valuing just about everything over your schools.

However, I have notice a terribly disturbing trend in recent weeks: rude parking.

What is rude parking? Well, it can take many forms. It might mean parking straight on in an angled parking space or vice versa, thus taking up two spaces. It might mean parking on or just over the line between spaces, thus taking up two spaces. It might mean not pulling far enough into a parking space and interfering with the driving lanes. Or parking in places that are clearly marked with yellow or red lines. Or using your grandpa's handicapped hanger thingy to park in a handicapped space, even though you are a perfectly able-bodied 18 year old. Or parking your Ford Behemoth pick up in a space that is clearly meant for normal sized cars, so that your back end blocks a driving lane completely, then leaving your monstrosity there for a week straight and counting. Or, in a new one one me, parking such that the intersection of four parking spaces is directly in the center of your car, thus taking up FOUR parking spaces (I witnessed this today at church).

But then there is my personal favorite: Parking so that your passenger side door is practically touching the driver side door of the car next to you, forcing the owner of that car to put it in neutral and push it out of the parking space because the owner of that car is not a tiny, little gymnast woman and cannot possibly climb over the center consol to get in through the passenger side because of the way her car is built. Then the owner of that car has to figure out how to let go in the front of the car and run around to the driver side to get in before the car rolls back into the space (thank you construction guys).

Ahem.

Folks, no one is asking you to give up your bad driving habits. Run red lights to your hearts' content (well, except at the intersections that have cameras now). Forget that you even have turn signals. That's fine. But folks, have some consideration for those of us who need to share parking lots with you. I know you worry about your baby having its paint scratched. But you know what? If you park right in between the yellow lines, and the cars on either side of you park right in between the yellow lines, no one's paint will get scratched.

Or maybe you are in a hurry. But you know what? The person who could have parked in that space next to you is in a hurry to. They also have a meeting they are running late for, and they don't want their boss to yell at them either.

Maybe you just have bad perspective. Get your eyes checked and get your astigmatism fixed.

I'm not asking for the world. I'm just asking us all to be considerate of each other, so we can take care of the very limited parking in our apartment buildings, office buildings, and shopping areas. We all know the city has grown. There are somewhere between 50,000 and 100,000 more people here than there were eight years ago. There are growing pains that go along with that, and we all have to adjust.

Let's all make an effort in this one area, huh? Who know where it will lead? Maybe someone will use a turn signal every fourth or fifth turn.

Nah.

Heinous Historical Meme

OK. Here is the response to the Meme LP tagged me for. The thing that makes this so hard is that a "historical figure" could literally be anyone from my great grandfather to Julius Caesar. And I don't really have a favorite one. I thought about writing about St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, and Roberto Clemente, and Joan of Arc. Instead, I've chosen to write about someone more modern that most of you probably haven't heard of.

But first the rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. List 7 random/weird things about your favorite historical figure
3. Tag 7 more people at the end of your blog and link to theirs
4. Let the person know they have been tagged.

OK. Ready?

My person is Sr. Thea Bowman. I first encountered this woman in my Women in the Christian Tradition class in college (The only good thing to come out of that class is that I got to read about some remarkable women). I later encountered her again in this book of poetry, reflections, artwork and prayers about women in the Catholic church. The book was a little too...PC for my tastes (things like feminine references to the first person of the Trinity and the Holy Spirit, etc. I'm generally not a traditionalist when it comes to these things, but I like my references to God either masculine or neutral, and the Holy Spirit just neutral.), but the artwork was great and some of the biographical stuff was really interesting.

So seven things (not really random or weird)

1. Sr. Thea was born in Yazoo, MS, raised Methodist, and became a Roman Catholic at the age of 9 after her parents sent her to Catholic school because, after 5 years in the public school system, she still couldn't read (remember, segregated schools were still a reality in the South, and the schools for African Americans got virtually no funding or attention).

2. At the age of 15, she entered the convent for the order of the Sisters of Saint Francis of Perpetual Adoration. After a 16 year teaching career, the Bishop of Jackson, MS asked her to join his staff as a consultant for Intercultural Awareness.

3. Sister Thea spoke throughout the world on the subject of cultural sensitivity, religion, and faith. She was not an assimilationist, but rather believed that we should embrace our differences and learn from each other. In 1990, as she was approaching the end of her life, Sr. Thea was invited to speak at the U.S. Catholic Bishop's conference on Black Catholics. She challeged the Bishops to do more to celebrate the unique gifts and culture of African American Catholics. By the end of her talk, many of the Bishops and other clergy present were moved to tears.

4. In 1984, Sister Thea was diagnosed with breast cancer, that eventually spread into her bones. She prayed to, "to live until I die—to live fully," and she did, continuing to speak all over the world from a wheelchair (including at the aforementioned Bishops conference).

5. Sr. Thea had a special relationship with Dan Rooney, the owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers. They met in 1985 at Viterbo College (now University), where both were receiving the Pope John XXIII award for Distinguished Service. They became fast friends, and as Sr. Thea's condition deteriorated, it was Rooney who have her her wheelchair, which she cristened her "Steeler-Mobile."

6. Sr. Thea was the first African-American woman to receive a Ph.D. in Theology from Boston College. She was a strong advocate for education, and there are schools named in her honor throughout the country, especially in the South and in poor, inner city neighborhoods. There are also scholarship funds established in her name at Catholic Universities and diocese throughout the country designed to help young, struggling, African American students to continue their education.

Sister Thea also had a Ph. D. in English Literature, and her area of specialization was the works of William Faulkner.

7. The epitaph on her tombstone reads, "Sr. Thea, 1937-1990, She Tried."

There is currently a fairly active movement within the U.S. to advance her cause for Sainthood. I don't know where that is going at the moment, since Pope Benedict the (I can't remember his number) seems not as...enthusiastic about beatifying and canonizing as Pope John Paul II did.

If you want to read more about Sr. Thea, her order has several pages devoted to her here. And for LP, because I know you appreciate icons, here is an icon of her that one of the sisters in her order wrote.

As far as tagging goes...well, I'd sure like to see TG's, Amy's and Tim's answers.

HA!

This is funny only for the very last line. And it is wrong, by the way - I'm a type O

Your Inner Blood Type is Type A

You seem cool and collected, though a bit shy. You are highly driven and a perfectionist, but that's a side you keep to yourself. Creative and artistic, you are a very unique person who doesn't quite fit in. People accept you more than you realize, seeing you as trustworthy and loyal. You are most compatible with: A and AB Famous Type A's: Britney Spears and Hilter

What's Your Inner Blood Type?

Meme Time

OK. LP tagged me for a truly heinous meme that I am not going to do at this time since it involves actual thought and research. Instead, I am going to do the year in review meme that is floating around everywhere. For this one, you write the first line of the first post for each month of the preceding year. So here goes.

January:
Before you start wondering, I haven't forgotten my promised campaign post. (2008 Note - Yeah, I've abandoned my presidential campaign. Feel free to write me in, though, if you don't like any of the candidates left when your state's primary rolls around.)

February:
Well, if the fact that all I want to do is eat chocolate is any indication, the medicine to the...ahem...female things...going again is working. (2008 Note - UGH!)

March:
Hello, faithful readers. (2008 Note - Well, that's generic)

April:
This is one of the saddest things I have read in a long time. (2008 Note - there was a link there, but I don't know if it still works)

May:
I feel like crap, but I'm alive and home. (2008 Note - written one day after surgery)

June:
On my last post, LP asked what Eat'n Park was, and if it was similar to Sonic. (2008 Note - If you are wondering, it's not, anymore)

July:
Sigh. I've said it before and I'll say it again - my church really needs to move services to 11:05 instead of 11. (2008 Note - I still think this.)

August:
Can I just announce that I just got a 10% raise? (2008 Note - My paycheck still seems to vanish just as fast.)

September:
So, I never quite made it out of my jammies today. (2008 Note - I love those days!)

October:
Every blogger I read regularly is either having a baby or sending a kid off to kindergarten or college. (2008 Note - Change that to every person I know. Sigh. It's our own 21st Century Baby Boom!)

November:
Word to the wise: When you take a medication that acts on insulin and blood sugar (even when you don't take if for diabetes - I take it to keep my insulin levels under control and to keep my female hormones doing what they are supposed to do), it is a really, really bad idea to take it in the morning and not eat breakfast. (2008 Note - Still a bad idea.)

December:
My head is full of mucous, and I have so much fluid in my ears that I get dizzy when I turn my head. (2008 Note - Eeww)

I Guess I Spoke Too Soon...

Go Tigers!

Sorry Ohioans!

Ohio State Just Scored

It could be a long night.

I am never...

...going to a car dealership again. Ever. I mean it. I'll drive my little Plymouth until I can't drive it anymore and then I'll walk everywhere, or learn to ride a bike.

First of all, the salesman was fine, though he had me start signing papers before I was ready to sign papers. I loved the test drive - the Honda Fit is an awesome car for a little car.

Then I had to go talk to the finance lady. That's where everything went downhill. First of all, I'm pretty sure she included a bunch of stuff in the financing that I don't want, but she wouldn't show me an exact financed amount and how it broke out. She kept talking about extended warranties, and credit protection, and gap insurance. And while I definitely want gap insurance, I don't necessarily want it from Honda. What if my insurance company can give me a better rate? And I don't want the extended warranty. After 3 years, I'd rather take my chances, or purchase an extended warranty then.

So the numbers I was seeing were a whole lot more than I was anticipating, and I based that on a much higher interest rate than what was showing there (we're talking about $100 more a month). I could technically afford that payment, but I don't want to commit to something that is going to stretch me to the financial breaking point without some serious thought and consideration. I told the woman (and I use that term to be polite - I'd like to use something stronger), that I wasn't going to sign any finance papers today, that I really need to think about whether or not I can take on that much additional debt and still be secure enough to live. It's not like I was buying a cheeseburger at McDonald's, after all.

Well, that's when she started pressuring me. She started saying things like "What difference will a few more days make to your decision" and "What will change if you walk out of here with nothing and think about it" and "Look, you know you need a car - your's is useless. This is the best you are going to do. Just sign."

Well, I don't do well, when I am being pressured. I told her that I didn't appreciate the hard sell and that I was planning to go somewhere else. I also kinda started crying involuntarily. She left and went to get the salesman, who said that they didn't mean to pressure me, and that of course I could take some time to make a decision.

I felt so condescended to with the financing lady. I know I have blemishes on my credit report. That's what happens when you have medical bills and make $9 an hour. And I know I've never financed a car before. But that is no reason to treat me like I am stupid or a child. I am an adult. It is my money and my life. If I need time to make a decision that big, I need time. And frankly, if they want me to ever be a customer, they need to respect that.

I swear, I'd rather just keep putting the money in my piece of crap that to do that again. It was miserable, and I hated every second of it.

And I hate myself for being so weak as to cry in there because I felt pressured. This is why I should never do anything ever.

This is Hilarious...

84% Chris Dodd
84% Dennis Kucinich
83% Mike Gravel
82% Barack Obama
80% John Edwards
80% Hillary Clinton
79% Joe Biden
69% Bill Richardson
43% Rudy Giuliani
31% John McCain
27% Ron Paul
23% Mike Huckabee
23% Tom Tancredo
21% Mitt Romney
12% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Oh, and I discovered why Louisiana didn't move it's primary up to Super Tuesday - this year, that falls on Mardi Gras. We love our politics, but we love our parties more!

So Far...

...I'm 1-for-1 with making it to church in 2008. Not bad, considerng I woke up at 10:15, services are at 11, and it takes right around 15 minutes to drive there.

Not much to say about that, though I have to observe again that we Germans love the Epiphany. The church was even more packed than it was at Christmas - even at the early service. I'm pretty sure I've never seen it that full before, except at Easter. There wer a lot of new faces, too, including a couple of African American families. That makes me happy. I always wanted to belong to a diverse and integrated congregation, like the one my friend Amy belongs to in Pittsburgh. That little congregation looks and feels nothing like a typical Presbyterian congregation, which in my opinion is a good thing (sorry to my Presbyterian brothers and sisters - I would say the samething about most mainline denominations).

Anyhow, what I wanted to talk about today was Respect Life Month (which is this month, for those who aren't aware). Now, I think this is a good idea in theory, but in practice, it sucks.

When I worked at St. Al's CCC, I always had parents encouraging me to take the teens to the Respect Life Rosary walk at the Catholic Life Center (the diocesan offices here in BR). I politely declined to make it a youth group event, but suggested that they go as a family if they felt that strongly about it. Why did I suggest that?

We'll first of all, I really don't like group rosaries. I have less of a problem with the rosary than I once did (maybe I'll write about that later), but to me, it always has been and should remain a private devotion.

But more importantly, it wasn't really praying for an increase in respect for all life as the gift from God that it is. Instead, it was a prayer to end legalized abortion only. They have one of those displays set up with the little white crosses, each one of which represents a certain number of aborted fetuses.

My question is, where are the crosses for the people who died because they couldn't afford adequate medical care? Where are the crosses of the women who have been killed by abusive partners? Where are the crosses for people who have been issued the death penalty? Where are the crosses for the people who have been killed by genocidal regimes? Where are the crosses for the women who died getting illegal, backroom abortions, for that matter? What about the people in third world countries who are working in sweatshops for wages that could not be considered "living wages" on anybody's scale? Or the people in this country trying to support families on minimum wage?

See, that was always my big issue with the Respect Life movement in the Catholic Church, I'm glad they are anti-abortion (I am too, though I think that it might mean something different to me. I am in favor of the existance of legal abortions. I just think we should spend more money and effort on sex education - and not abstinance only. Fewer unplanned preganancies will mean fewer abortions). But what about all the other Respect Life issues? People claim that they are important too, but they barely even get paid lip service. It frustrates me to no end.

OK. That's enough of a rant for today. I need to go clean my car out before tomorrow's adventures.

Word to the Wise...

If you happen to be at the grocery store and you see Velveeta Shells and Cheese with 2% milk cheese, and you think to yourself, "Maybe I'll try this. It has much, much less fat that the other kind." - don't do it. Yes, it has less fat, but it also tastes much, much less good.

Just more proof that fat makes stuff taste good.

Saturday

I don't actually have a lot to say, but I realized that I was 4 for 4 on blogging in the new year, so why ruin that?

I'm stressing over the whole car thing. I'm afraid of buying a new car. Really afraid. I was really hoping that I could get a few more things cleared up before I took on a brand new debt.

Maybe I'll just go on with the test drive and tell the guy that I'm not quite ready to buy, then work on it for May.

But I'm afraid of doing that, and I'm afraid I won't be able to do that. People scare me, a lot. And I hate the idea of offending someone and making them think I wasted their time.

Yes, I know that is stupid and illogical, especially when talking about car salesmen.

Sigh.

Let me just say that during his Quantum Leap years, Scott Bakula had the biggest cojones in history. How many men would dress up in women's clothing multiple times over the course of a series run? And how many, in one episode, would wear an evening gown, a poodle skirt, a Scarlett O'Hara gown, a Carmen Miranda getup, and a swimsuit?

I love Quantum Leap!

It's a wonder...

...that Louisiana as a state is even marginally functional.

I've spent all day trying to tie up loose ends related to my car. First stop was the OMV. I had to replace my title, clear up a flag on my registration (I'll explain that in a minute), and replace my registration.

The title part was easy, though it turns out I didn't have to pay the notary $10 to notarize the form because I had to sign a whole new one there.

The next thing I had to do was clear the flag on my registration so I could get a copy of my registration card. I let my insurance lapse when I wasn't working, and in Louisiana, you have to pay a pretty stiff fee to the state when you do that ($50 if it is less than 30 days, $100 if it is 30-90 days, and $225 if it was over 90 days. That's where I was). So I waited in that line to pay that fee, and it turns out they don't take checks for that. But they would take a credit or debit card over the phone. They actually have phones set up for that at the OMV. How inefficient is that? Wouldn't it be easier and cheaper for the state to have a credit card reader at the cashiers' office at the OMV? Plus, they charge you a five dollar fee for a credit card transaction. Almost pure profit for the state. Those transactions cost about $0.02.

So I went and paid the fee over the phone, but then the guy couldn't clear the flag on my registration. So then I had to go back to the person who sent me to the phone to clear the flag. Only, she couldn't do that either. Because it turns out Louisiana can't process a transaction to pay a fee and a transaction to clear a flag on the same day. That's ridiculous, especially if you aren't paying by check. The lady had to go to her supervisor, who had to go to her supervisor to get the flag to clear.

When that finally happened, I had to go wait in yet another line to get a copy of my registration. Of course, they wouldn't just give me a copy of my current registration (which costs $8) because policy is that when your current registration is within a month of expiring (mine expired at the end of February), they have to process a renewal, which cost $20.

But my day didn't end there. I wanted to pay the ticket I got for an expired inspection sticker. I just want to have all my ducks in a row in case I end up getting a new car. I tried to pay it on line and over the phone, but it didn't work. So I had to go to the city courthouse. Well, it took me forever to find it because there is no actual sign indicating "Courthouse is here" because that would make sense. I finally found it and discovered that there is no parking lot anywhere near the building. There are meters, but they were all full. So I drove around the block several times waiting for a place to open up. That was an adventure in and of itself because downtown Baton Rouge is a mess. I finally gave up, left for a while and went to get gas.

When I came back, I only had to go around the block once when a space opened. So I parked, fed the meter, and went into the courthouse. I waited in yet another line. When I got up to that counter, the woman said that the reason I couldn't pay my ticket on line was that it wasn't in the system yet. I got the ticket on November 17. The city didn't receive it until December 14th. And they still hadn't put it in the system for payment. It had to be paid by February 18th.

What kind of stupid system is that? In Pittsburgh, if you got a ticket, you had 45 days to pay it, and I promise you, it was in the computer system within 5 days. It's inefficient, makes people angry, and probably costs the city parish money. This is the freaking 21st century for crying out loud. Cops should be carrying handheld computers and issuing tickets electronically.

Anyway, I had to wait about 15 minutes for them to put the ticket into the payment system. Then I went to pay with a credit card. They charge a 5% fee on credit card transactions. Again, pure profit for the city.

I want to say right now that any merchant, government, or anyone else who charges a "convenience fee" for electronic transactions of any kind is absolutely full of shit. Yes, I cursed. That's how angry it makes me. Electronic transactions are not only less expensive than check transactions, they are more secure than either checks or cash. It costs them less, and is better for the consumer. But most consumers don't realize that is costs less to process that kind of transaction, so they go along with the fee. Those fees are absolute pure profit for the companies involved.

So that was my day. I will never understand why government is so reluctant to embrace technology that may be expensive in the intial outlay, but will save so much money in the long run.

Stupid bureaucracy.

To the person who found me by searching the phrase: "I lost my job today"....

If you did lose your job, I'm sorry. That's one of the worst feelings in the world. I'm living proof, though, that things can get better, and that sometimes things happen for a reason. Although it was a struggle I'm still getting over in some respects (especially as they relate to my car), it really was the best thing to ever happen to me.

I don't know who you are, but I will be praying for you.

Car Update

Well, according to Auto Zone, I have a misfire in my 4th cylinder. Since I have a 4 cylinder car, no wonder it feels like it is dragging.

Thing is, I just had a tune up last year, right before my transmission went out (because before the transmission gave, the only problem the computer recorded were misfires). This makes me think it is something more than a spark plug. In fact, I know it is. That is the cylinder where they mechanic guy said it was seeping oil into the spark plug...place. I never got that fixed, because it would cost a couple hundred dollars, and the mechanic said I'd be OK without it.

So here is the current plan. I'm going to call my trusty chain mechanic (Tire Kingdom, if you are interested - they do a great job) to see if they will replace the one spark plug to see if that'll turn off the check engine light. If they will, that'll be one of my stops tomorrow. I'm also going to the OMV (that's the DMV, for those of you who are someplace else) to see if I can get a duplicate title for my current car. I'm hoping that physically going there will expidite the process. This weekend, I'll be giving my car as thorough a cleaning out as I can. On Monday, I am test driving a new car (yes, the Honda Fit). If I like it, and if they can work out financing I can afford, I'm getting a new car.

I had planned to wait so that I'd have some time to save a down payment, but I'm afraid of what's next. Plus, I really hate the fact that my heat and A/C don't really work, and getting a new compressor installed will be about $600. That isn't happening.

So, if they can give me $1000 in trade, and work out the financing so that I don't have a completely crazy interest rate, I can afford it now.

The thought scares me, though. In my mind, a car note makes you a real grown-up (though not as much of a grown up as a house note), and I've never had a car note. Weird.

Looks Like

I may be getting a new car sooner rather than later. My check engine light came on on the way into work today. I'm going to go at lunch time to Auto Zone to get them to use their little diagnostic thingy. I think it is either the fuel pump on the verge of dying or the water pump on the verge of dying. Or, it could be the transmission again. The car doesn't accelerate well or smoothly when I first step on the gas, though once it gets going it is fine. If it is the transmission, this is definitely the end. If it is the fuel pump, it is most likely the end. If it is the water pump, well, I may get that fixed. If it is something else entirely, who knows?

Sigh. Happy New Year to me!

Thoughts on Old and New

So here we are in a brand new year.

2008.

I've written before about how, in 1080, the year I turned 9, I thought 2000 was forever a way, and that 29 was older than dirt.

This year I'll be 37. Officially in my late 30's.

29 looks so good now.

2007 was an interesting year. I had surgery for the first time ever. I grew into my job. I got myself off of the anti-depressants. I went through some angst after going off the anti-depressants.

I fell behind on my own writing because work took up so much of my time. I've had a bit of a...down slide in my spiritual life, partially because of work and illness, partially because of...something else.

I got into the habit of eating out an awful lot. My thyroid fluctuated an awful lot, as did other hormone levels. I craved food that was horribly bad for me when my hormones were off. I had food poisoning for the first time, thanks to the company Christmas party.

So, what am I looking forward to in 2008? First, I want to cook at home more often. It is healthier and less expensive.

I want to work more on The Great American Novel, and the The Greater American Novel, especially the first. It's been on my mind a lot lately.

I want to try to make it church on a more regular basis, even when I'm not feeling up to it (mentally, I mean - not physically; I won't get other people sick.).

I plan to feed myself more intellectually and spiritually. I realized after the post I made last week sometime that for me, itellect and faith are directly connected. I think that's why I grew so much in terms of my faith during my college years, when I was learning so much about it intellectually. I will write more about this stuff later. But I will say, that, thanks to LP's suggestion, I found some online, credit classes I can take without being in a degree program, and that I can afford. I'm hoping that if I can learn some theology from the Lutheran perspective, I'll be less intimidated about getting involved in ministries in my congregation, which is something that scares me right now. (I know, I know - it isn't logical. I'll write more about where that insanity comes from later.).

I want to find homes for the two semi-feral cats I seem to have adopted some how, despite the fact that I am allergic to cats and can't actually give them any attention beyond food, before my building is torn down. I don't think these cats can hunt on their own, at least not for more than lizards and bugs, and I'd hate to think of them dying as a result. I guess they can go mooch off of the rich folks in the overpriced condos that are going up next door, though.

I want to get over my fear of car dealerships and get a new car as soon as possible, but not until at least March. More likely May.

I want to introduce some bill in some legislature that gives some kind of advantage to single people. While I believe in the importance of families, single people get really screwed on a lot of fronts, especially taxes. I also want to move forward with my plan to make President's Day the single people's holiday. We give up time off around Thanksgivng and Christmas, but by golly, we should get to take extra time off around President's Day to...to...sit around our homes and watch daytime TV!

I would say that I want to make higher payments on my student loan, but if I have to buy a car, that isn't going to happen.

I want to team up with TG and mount a challenge to the official spelling bee people on behalf of everyone, everywhere who has been cheated out of a spelling bee win because of bad pronunciation, foreign slang words, and other injustices. I don't quite know what good it will do, but I want to do it anyway.

I guess this is all I have to say. These aren't resolutions, really, because I don't believe in them. They are just things I'd like to see happen in the coming 364 days.

Have a happy January.

Is it too late to protest the results of a middle school spelling bee that took place in...1985? The statute of limitations on protests has to be at least 25 years, right?

I was in 8th grade. We were down to 5 people left in the competition out of...60 or so (three representatives of each of the diocesan schools within the city limits). It was my turn. The word I was given was "backfisch".

Now had our coach, Sister I-forget-her-name-because-I-have-blocked-her-from-my-mind had used the booklet we were given for our prep sessions, I probably would have gotten the word. But no, she used the classroom dictionary. Middle school classroom dictionaries aren't known for being comprehensive.

Anyway, I left out the "c" and got the word wrong. I got really curious about the word, and I looked it up in the unabridged dictionary in the school library. It wasn't there. Then I looked it up in two different unabridged dictionaries in the local branch of the public library. Wasn't there. When I was in high school and allowed to go to Oakland to the big Carnegie Library, I looked it up in every unabridged dictionary I could find in the reference section. The librarian must have thought I was nuts. I never did find it.

So I got it in my head to look it up on the internet today, because hey, what is the internet for but looking up obscure spelling bee words from 23 years ago while avoiding doing actual work for a proposal that is due in 3 days? And do you know what I discovered? The word is 1920's era German slang that never actually caught on in English. In fact, the only example of English usage I can find is from Nabokov's Lolita.

So I think I have grounds for a protest. Of course, the newspaper that sponsored the spelling bee no longer exists. And the nun who judged it is dead. And my school doesn't exist anymore, either. But those are mere details.

What do you think internet? Should I start an online campaign to have the city Catholic schools round of the Pittsburgh Press Spelling Bee from 1985 replayed? I bet I could kick those scrawny geeks butts now.

I Hate Technical Support

I've been on with Dell's tech support people for the past half hour. I know the problem is with my power adaptor. There is a short in the cord or something. The only reason I called tech support is because I was pretty sure I was still under warranty. I know it is the adaptor, because when I unplug the part that goes from the outlet to the little box thingy and plug it back in it resets, but it doesn't when I do the same from the part that goes from the computer to the box thingy. This guy has had me do everything on earth with my computer. He even tried to take it over remotely so that he could look something up that I could do just as easily (my firewall didn't like that idea one little bit). All this for him to say that they would send me a new adaptor.

The problem with tech support people is that they assume that everyone who calls knows absolutely nothing about computers, even when the person doing the calling makes it clear that they know what they are talking about. I don't need to be handheld through everything. Tell me that you want me to go to the classic view of the control panel, and I can get there. I'm smart like that.

Now the guy, who is obviously new and working on his English, is asking me all kinds of questions about what I am doing in the new year, how this past year was, what the weather is like, etc. I understand that they want to humanize their representatives, but boy, that is annoying. The conversation is very stilted.

On the other hand, I can tell from his accent that he is from the same part of India as one of my co-workers. If I didn't know any better I'd think co-worker was moonlighting. Boy, that commute would be killer.

I will have to save my reflections post for tomorrow. I wasn't expecting to have to be on the phone with tech support for...45 minutes now.

I was going to write something, but by the time this window opened, I forgot what it was. Sigh. I'm getting old.

Tomorrow, I'll share with you some end of the year reflections.

Quantum Leap was indeed one of the best TV shows ever in the history of television. I just started season 3. The premier of that season is so incredibly moving. I loved that show when I was a kid, and I love it still. Consider adding it to your Netflix cues if you either don't remember it or didn't watch it back then. It is intelligent, moving, fun, and thought provoking.

This is actually my favorite critter...

You Are A: Turtle!

These reptiles, famous for their hard outer shells, spent their days roaming for food and relaxing in the water. As a turtle you are not very speedy, nor are you soft and cuddly. You tend to hide in your shell and you aren't much of a sprinter, however you are as cute as you are fascinating.

You were almost a: Lamb or a Frog
You are least like a: Squirrel or a DuckCute Animal Quiz!

Huh.

Just a little more on the "lovingkindness" thing.

LP mentioned in a comment that he had always seen that particular Hebrew word translated as "steadfast love". I find that really interesting, because those two things (lovingkindness and steadfast love) seem to express somewhat different ideas.

This is why I really love Scripture. There are so many levels when you really study it. And when you think about how many different versions of the Bible exist, both in common usage and outdated ones, it's truly amazing. I love to see how the commonly used modern versions (NAB, NIV, NRSV, and even NKJV) both parallel and differ from each other.

I get that feeling every weekend at church. I've spent most of my life hearing the Sunday readings from the Catholic lectionary, which uses the NAB version of the Bible. Now, the lectionary readings are from the NRSV (which is actually the version my Sacred Scriptures prof. used in college). Now, after 30 some years of both hearing and proclaiming the same readings on a three year cycle, I pretty much had them all close to memorized. But now, hearing the same readings from the NRSV, it's like its a revelation. Those subtle differences in language can add layers of meaning.

If I had unlimited money and unlimited time, I would so go back to school to study Scripture. I have nine credits in it already, and I loved every minute of those three classes. I wish there was a graduate-level mainline seminary around here. Even if I couldn't afford to actually take classes, I would see about auditing for my own knowledge.

That's the one thing I really wish my congregation did more of - either Bible study, or a book study, or something like that. We have one Bible study a week, and it's at 11 a.m. on Wednesday and is comprised of people old enough to be my great-grandparents. I would love to do something with other adults (some of whom aren't retirees), but apparently it is really hard to get people to do anything in our church in the evenings during the week. We are small, and so many people consider themselves a part of the LSU community first, and anything else comes after that.

Sigh.

Crap

I just realized when I saw someone in Sitemeter found me through a search for "new years pretzel Pittsburgh" that I meant to order one of those for this year. I totally forgot, and it's too late now.

Sigh.

Dear Internet,

You are not entertaining me very much as I wait for all the stuff on earth to print.

Point me to fun, work-safe stuff, people!

Thank you.

Still at Work

Just thought the blogsphere would like to know.

Sometimes I hate my job.

But mostly I love it.

Just not so much when I'm stuck in the office alone at 10:19 p.m., with no end in sight.

I hate the fact that I lost my help completely, even though his propsoal isn't due for a couple weeks, and the boss told him to help me.

I do like the overtime, though. It's paid at straight time, but still...

Back to the grind.

OK. The Advocate isn't the only paper capable of making me cry this week.

Stupid hormones.

Boy, I'm Having a Bad Day

I had a document get all corrupted on me while I was working on it. This is a document that has to be completed and driven 50 miles away by 11 a.m. I had to recreate the whole thing, and I'm less than halfway done. Plus, I have a whole 'nother document that goes with it that I haven't even touched. Nor have I done resumes.

Plus, I have to oversee all the other proposal stuff that's going on because boss and number 1 proposal coordinator are both out all week.

They are never allowed to take vacation at the same time again (I almost wrote "together" but then I realized that implied something that I totally didn't mean to imply. Though they are in the same state. But it's Texas, and that doesn't mean much. Plus, number 1 proposal coordinator is female, and Boss is a gay man). I do not like being in charge.

So why am I here instead? I needed a mental break.

OK. Back to work.

I did some research (because I am avoiding work) and discovered that "lovingkindness" is apparently one translation of a word found 30-some times in the Old Testament. It is the word translated as "love" in the NAB version of Psalm 136.

Interesting. I knew it couldn't be a typo, but I didn't know it was a real thing, either.

Made a couple small changes to my template. Sorry the sidebar looks weird. Still trying to get rid of the corners, and they are more noticeable with the widened sidebar.

You'll see there is a new thing over there under "Make a Difference." Kiva.org is an organization that provides microloans to entrepreneurs in developing countries. The ask individual "lenders" to make loans of $25 each. The badge over there is of the group I loaned to. They are expanding a pig farming operation, and need the money to build more pig sties.

And it really is a loan. When the lendee pays back their loan, you get your money back, which you can either keep or loan to someone else.

I did my research and discovered that all of the money you loan goes directly to the lendee. You have the option of adding 10% (a whole $2.50) to help with administrative costs. I like that.

So, if you have $25 burning a hole in your pocket, think about this organization. Sounds worth it to me.

Chicken review

It's not bad - really. It is tender and moist, but it is kind of bland. Also, I cooked it for the minimum time in the cookbook, but it absolutely fell apart when I tried to take it out of the crock pot. For as often as I make a whole chicken, I don't see this taking the place of roasting.

I do have a tip on the stuffing, though. I followed the directions on this, and it was easy for stuffing from a mix, but so much better.

Melt 1/4 cup of butter in a skillet or saucepan (the saucepan is neater, I think). Saute one small, diced onion and three, diced celery stalks (or buy creole mix at the grocery store so you don't have to do any work at all - it also has green pepper) for about...5 minutes. Throw in four cups of stuffing mix (that is a whole canister of Stove Top), and mix it up. Then throw in enough chicken broth to moisten up the stuffing. It tastes so much better than regular Stove Top, and doesn't really take any longer.

So Christmas dinner was good, overall. Plus, I had pancakes for lunch. It doesn't get much better than that.

Food

If you can find them, you have to try No Pudge Fudge Brownies. Someone whose blog I read regularly turned me on to them, and I just tried them for the first time.

Basically, everything in the mix is natural (meaning no high fructose corn syrup), and you make it with vanilla yogurt instead of oil and eggs. If you can find fat-free yogurt, the brownies are fat free. I couldn't - or at least I couldn't find any that didn't have high fructose corn syrup (except for some ridiculously expensive organic stuff), so I bought low-fat Dannon Natural, which only adds 3 grams of fat, which is next to nothing. They are in the oven now, and smell sooo good. And the mix tasted wonderful - bonus: you can eat the mix without fear because there is no raw egg in it.

For those of you in the Ohio area, I know you can find it at Kroger, and if there is an Albertson's in your area, you may be able to find it there. Otherwise, Google it, and it should take you to a website with a list of stores that carry it.

I'll let you know how they taste later.

I'm making chicken in the crock pot. It does, in fact, cook all the way through, but the skin does not get crisp, despite the pictures. Oh, and you may want to use a baster to drain fluid every now and then, at least if you use a fryer. I couldn't find a roaster, and I know they have less fat than fryers.

Damn You, Advocate!

You've made me cry more times than I can count this week.

And it's good to know the caliber of young men playing for LSU.

So...Christmas

First, let me say that I'm feeling very guilty. It was very cold last night (for Louisiana - it hit 30). The semi-feral cats, Fido and Rover (yes, I did name them. sigh.) would usually go inside my neighbor's apartment on nights like that. However, neighbor is a student, and she is somewhere else right now. So all last night, whenever I'd move, or turn on a light or anything, Fido would scratch furiously at my window. I'm talking 10 or 15 minutes straight. I think she and Rover wanted in, but I can't do that. I'm horribly, horribly allergic, and I have no cat supplies, if you get my drift. I put out extra food and water, and I put out a box with a couple old t-shirts in it, along with an old rug on the concrete of my "deck" so that they could find someplace semi-warm at least if they wanted it. But I feel really bad. I guess I'm just an old softie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas Eve worship at my church always leaves me feeling conflicted. I always go to the 11 p.m. liturgy, because the earlier service has a whole lot of kids and no Eucharist. I love it, because it is quiet (no choir - of course, we don't have a choir on Christmas for either service. That's the disadvantage of being in a university town and depending on the school of music for not only the director but also about half the members), and dark, and intimate. I love night time workship in general for that reason.

But at the same time, I spend about half the service trying not to cry. Christmas was one of the only times during the year when my mom, dad, and I all went to church together (Easter and one or two other weeks were the others). My mom either went to her church, the Lutheran church that was closer to us (but that she didn't really like because she didn't know anyone), or the Presbyterian church down the street (because everyone needs a Presbyterian church down the street). Even though she married a Catholic, and was raising a Catholic child (and doing a better job of it that most of the Catholic parents, thank you very much), she really wasn't comfortable in the Catholic church. I can't blame her. I don't think I'd want to worship somewhere where I was unable to participate fully, either.

So worship on Christmas always reminds me of those times together. Going to church was always my favorite part of Christmas because it was the three of us, and just the three of us. I didn't have to face my aunt (who really didn't seem to like me, though she was never nasty in her words - just her actions), or any cousins I barely knew. I didn't have to sit at a kids' table by myself when I was well into my teens.

But now, when I go to church on Christmas, and see all those families together, it makes me really sad. I still miss my parents, as acutely as I did right after they died. And it's not like it's only been a few years. As of this April it will be 15 years (!) since my dad died and as of June, 13 years since my mom died. I wonder sometimes if that will ever fade. I mean, I get through "real life" just fine, though I think of my parents every day. But those special occasions, holidays, Mother's Day, weird little random days during the years, it hits me hard.

Maybe it's because I spend most of those days alone. Oh, I get invitations for holidays most of the time (though I didn't for this Christmas), but I hate spending holidays with other people's families. It's weird and awkward, and sometimes makes the missing more...tangible.

Sigh. What a downer. Sorry, internet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But to end on an up note, I'm cooking for the third day in a row. This time, I am trying to make a roast chicken in the crock pot. My mom was always afraid to try that (she worked with meat, and knew all about salmonella), but the internet says it really does work well. And the internet never lies, does it?

If it does work I'll post the recipie. I'll post the recipie for the beef tips I made yesterday, too. Except I couldn't find sirloin at the grocery store (what's up with that?), so I had to use stewing beef, which meant the meat utterly fell apart while cooking. Still, it was good, and the gravy was tasty.

OK, I need to get to work now, I suppose. Yes, you read that right. I'm working from home, at least (unless I didn't copy everything I need onto my jump drive), but I have about 5 hours of work ahead of me today.

Crap. As I typed that, I realized that there are about 5 or 6 files I didn't copy. Sigh. I'm waiting until it gets warmer to go outside, though. It's still in the mid 40's

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One more thing, if LP happens along here...is "lovingkindness" something that is written in some worship materials somewhere just like that? Is it a throwback to German (I don't know much of it, but I know they are well known for smushing words together to make new ones)? Or does our church secretary just think that it is all one word? It appears in our worship bulletin like that just about every week, and it drives me crazy just about every week.

I have lots to say, but it will wait until tomorrow.

Merry Christmas to all (or Happy Christmas to my reader or readers across the pond)!

So I'm watching that CBS show, "In the Name of God" or whatever it is. One of the things they asked all the religious leaders about was faith and doubt. If they asked Pope Benedict, I missed it, but they did for sure ask the Archbishop of Canterbury, the presiding bishop of the ELCA (who is also president of the the Lutheran World Federation) and the president of the Southern Baptist Convention. Both of the two bishops admitted to having doubts, but nevertheless trusting their faith in God - even when it was hard. The Southern Baptist Guy said he never has any doubts about anything. I don't know quite what to make of that.

I did, however, make a big batch of corn chowder. It is yummy, and I have lunch for the next two weeks. Tomorrow, I am making beef tips and noodles, another favorite dish. Yes, I'm trying to cook more. I find that if I use the crockpot, I'm much more likely to cook regularly. I can do the prep work at night and then just throw everything together in the morning.

One final note - I don't think I have ever heard a hymn sound better on the organ than "Joy to the World." We sang that today, and organist played the living heck out of that song. I didn't know it was an Advent song, but our worship book identifies it that way. I think it would fit better on the third Sunday, but I guess the Christmas program takes presidence (sigh).

And since when do Southern Baptists do trinitarian baptisms? The Southern Baptist guy on this show just did one. I thought they only baptized in the name of Jesus. When I worked with RCIA, former Baptists always had to be catechumens (those seeking Baptism) rather than just candidates (those seeking full communion through the Eucharist and Confirmation) for just that reason, even if they had already been baptized.

Huh. You learn something new every day

Need something to either lift you up or rip your heart out during this crazy time of year? Go read this article.

The Advocate kind of sucks as a paper, but every now and then they manage a feature article that brings tears to my eyes - both happy ones and sad.

An Open Letter to Parents of Teenagers

My dear moms and dads,

I know that parenting a teenager is tough. Well, I don't know from personal experience, but I know how difficult I made things on my parents, and I've worked with teenagers in school and youth ministry settings. They are difficult, moody, and generally miserable 95% of the time.

And for those of you who make the effort to get your kids to church, I applaud you. Again, I know how hard that is.

But please, for the love of God and your fellow parishioners, if you can convince them to go to church, make them leave their cell phones at home, or at least in the car. Even if you have to search pockets and purses to do it, please, please do it.

What brings this up today, you ask? Well, there was a family sitting behind me in church. The have three teenagers (17, 15, and 13), and the youngest had a friend who was obviously a non-churchgoer. Now this family has issues with their kids and church. The kids are almost always there, but the two girls (the two youngest) are always dressed incredibly inappropriately, and the oldest spends most of the service in the bathroom, or any place else in the church building other than the sanctuary.

Well, today, during the readings, one of their cell phones went off. It was on vibrate, but against the wood of the pew, it was plenty loud. Apparently it was a text message, because all throughout the rest of the service, I could hear her (the middle one) punching keys on the phone. The parents had to see it - they were sitting right next to her. I could see it out of my peripheral vision. Then, during everything that was sung (and we do a lot of singing), the boy was texting as well, thinking that the music covered the beeping of the keys on his phone (it did not).

The parents did not correct those children, or the younger girl and her friend who were mocking pretty much every prayer and song we prayed.

Parents, you are not doing yourselves, your kids, or your fellow parishioners any favors by dragging kids who don't want to be at church to church, then letting them do whatever they want without correction or consequence during the service. What does that teach them? That they can do whatever they want or act however they want as long as they show up? Who does that help.

So parents, either teach your kids the right way to behave in church (and in public for that matter), or leave them home. That is something I never thought I'd say.

Thank you.

I Covet This

If I have anything left out of profit sharing after paying of one last bill from my surgery, I'm buying myself this. Why didn't Rival ever think of that?

Every now and then, especially with 3/4 of the people I know in real life and on line pregnant or with brand new babies, I really regret the fact that I'm not married, and don't have children, and most likely never will experience either.

Sometimes I hate the forced cheerfulness of holidays. I'd really rather just crawl into a hole for the whole two weeks surrounding Christmas and lament the fact that I am all alone. But I put on a happy face, act festive and joyful, and pretend that it doesn't bother me that I have absolutely no family to celebrate with.

I know that isn't necessarily what this holiday is all about. But sometimes it hits hard this time of year, especially when it coincides with a hormonal storm.

Sigh.

I had the most amazing carrot cake at lunch today. It was warm, and moist, and just sweet enough, and the cream cheese frosting was divine.

We took Boss out to lunch as part of his birthday celebration. The big part comes on Friday. It was an expensive lunch, but so incredibly worth every penny. I had a shrimp poboy, the best fries I ever had, and then the five of us split three desserts - dark chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream, the carrot cake, and key lime pie. Yum.

I have to admit thought, that I was just a little ticked when we split the whole bill evenly. My meal cost $3-$4 less than everyone else's. I know it isn't much of a difference in the long run, but still. But I was only a little ticked. And considering I was sitting at a table full of people with English degrees trying to figure out how to add in a tip and split the bill four ways, I really, really can't complain.

TV thoughts

So there is nothing on on Tuesdays, so I find myself watching The Biggest Loser. That show is so unfair and stupid.

 

First, it totally isn't fair to pit men and women against each other. No wonder they've never had a woman win. Men have naturally faster metabolisms. Men don't have the hormonal issues women have. It is easier for them to lose weight. That is a biological fact.

 

Second, people with thyroid conditions don't stand a chance. Is it any wonder that the bottom two of the final four both have thyroid problems? Even when controlled, that makes it harder to lose weight. (And yes, I know they never said Isabeau had a thyroid problem, but I know a goiter when I see one - I had one)

 

Third, the "at home" portion of the competition favors those who don't work, or who don't work crazy hours. I know that when I work 12 or 14 hour days (or longer) the last thing I want to do is cook dinner and then work out for several hours.

 

Fourth, product placement. OK. This has nothing to do with fairness, but the product placement on that show is out of control. When they are pushing Ziplock bags and Extra gum as diet aids, that is just insane.

 

Finally, and this has nothing to do with fairness either, this show promotes an unrealistic view of weight loss and fitness. I'm sorry, but even in a controlled environment with all kinds of medical supervision, it can't possibly be health to lose close to 150 pounds in 14 weeks, as a couple contestants did. Doctors warn about that kind of thing. But people who watch this at home and haven't discussed these issues with a doctor don't realize this and either set unrealistic goals and give up when they can't reach them or push themselves too hard and end up sick.

 

I just don't like that show. But if the writer's strike isn't settled, I guess I'll probably watch the next installment, too. Unless one of the other networks can come up with a better alternative. Take it as a challenge, networks!

Huh...

I just looked out the window at work and thought to myself, "I wish it would snow."

 

What an odd thought, considering I live in Baton Rouge, LA, and the current temperature is 66.

 

But it looks like the kind of day that would be a snowy day in Pittsburgh. At least it would if the trees weren't still green (though I think most of the ones I can see from my window are cedars and palmettos, and aren't they evergreens?).

 

Still, I wish it would snow.

 

Sigh.

Venting

I just noticed that something weird happened with my banner. I'll have to play with my template this weekend.

But that, dear readers, is not what I'm venting about. Instead, I am venting about people who refuse to grow. the. hell. up.

There is a blog I read on a pretty regular basis. I found this guy because I enjoyed reading his fan fiction. And while many of you may be saying that is in and of itself a sign of immaturity...shut up.

Anyhow, when I first started reading this guy's blog, he was a graduate student and a TA. I think it is perfectly fine for such a person to be just doing that, and sponging off his/her parents while doing it, if the parents can afford it (and his can).

But he has since graduated. He spent a year after graduation basically sitting around his parents' house doing nothing, then he decided he wanted to move to large midwestern city (think of one with two baseball teams). So he did, with no job. Mom and Dad paid his rent for a while. Then he took a temp job, which he quit because he didn't like it. So then he bummed around for a few more weeks before finding a job in a theater box office. He lost that job because he mouthed off to the boss because she wanted him to do something he thought was beneath him. So now he has an unpaid, part time internship, with Mommy and Daddy supporting him.

Where do I begin?

First of all, almost all of us who have graduated with a degree in a usless, liberal arts field (his is theater) have had to take jobs we hate to make ends meet. Do you think I enjoyed doing data entry or being an administrative assistant? No, but I had bills to pay on my own. I didn't have a mother and father to sponge off of, and even if they had been alive, I wouldn't have done it, except to maybe live at home. But I still would have contributed to household expenses. Sometimes it is part of being a grown up to suck it up.

Second, along those same lines, every adult I know has been asked to do something that they think is beneath them at work. I hated it when my boss at my last job sent me to pick up her lunch, or drive something out to her house (which was about 50 miles away) because she didn't feel like coming into the office. But I did it, because sometimes you have to put up with some...crap to stay gainfully employed. Most of us just don't have the option to say, "take this job and shove it," because we don't feel like running an errand for the boss.

Third, and unpaid internship? At nearly 30? I know the theater is hard to break into, but still. I would be embarrassed and humiliated to take a job like that and depend on my parents at that age. But this guy, he uses their money to buy completely frivolous things, gourmet food, plane tickets to visit friends, lets them buy him plane tickets home, etc. And they allow it, and even encourage it!

Oh, he claims to feel guilty, and he complains about their involvement in his life. Well, they are financing his life. I'd expect to be involved as well. But he continues to accept their money and their gifts (including a new iPhone) freely and willingly.

Maybe I just don't understand how the other half lives. My parents didn't sponge off of their parents, and in fact took care of them when they were old. Not that there was any money to do any sponging, anyway. I just don't know if I could do that if my parents were alive and had money. Doesn't some developmental psychologist say that separation from your parents is an important milestone?

I don't know. Maybe I'm being unfairly judgmental. I probably am, in fact. But it irks me every time I read this guy's blog and see him talking about his unpaid internship in one breath and the new toy (or fancy food or plane ticket to wherever) he his buying in the other. I should stop reading his blog for the sake of my sanity, but where is the fun in that?

Boy, is that a twisted statement!

Feel Sooo Much Better

Came home early from work and slept for a few hours and ate some rice. Everything stayed where it was supposed to. I'm capabable of being functional now. My apartment, however still smells like I was sick all weekend. I suppose that won't change until the weekend when I can get to the laundromat to wash the big stuff.

In other news, Weird Al is still funny. Thank goodness for YouTube.

Guess Who Had Food Poisoning?

If you guessed me, give yourself a pat on the back.

It turns out that quite a few people got sick after the holiday party on Friday. We think the common connector was the fish, but we aren't 100% sure.

I felt a lot better after I threw up. And boy, did I throw up. I have no idea where all that fluid came from, because I thought with what was coming out the other end, there couldn't be anything left inside me.

Yes, I am on a TMI tear today.

On the plus side, I probaby lost about 7-10 pounds of water weight yesterday.

And another thing...

I skipped church this morning on purpose. I was tired, and this morning was all about the Sunday school Christmas program. It's the third Sunday of Advent. I want actual, real live liturgy, darnit. I checked the website of the other Lutheran church in the city, and they also had their Sunday school program today in place of the regular liturgy.

I've never thought of myself as particularly high church, but I really don't like it when a full Eucharistic liturgy is replaced with something else on a Sunday. My church only does it a few times a year (third sunday of Advent, the Sunday between Christmas and New Years, and occassionally the last service of the summer, when the church ladies lead the service - that depends, though on whether the female fill-in pastor is availabel that weekend or not). I usually try to make it to one of the Episcopal churches on those Sundays (they all have evening services), but my digestive system has decided to go a little nuts today, and I decided it would be better for all involved if I stayed home and mainlined Immodium.

I suppose that's too much information, huh?

Oh, Christmas Party...

So company Christmas party was on Friday. I had a good time. I actually stayed until the end, which was shocking. I didn't go to the after party, though. It was at a really popular "grown up" bar (in other words, doesn't appeal much to students), but it was packed, and I had pretty much had my fill of crowds by then.

The president of the company spoke for a while. There will be profit sharing this year (Yay). She announced some presidential awards, and it was neat to hear managers lauded for bringing in work that I worked on the proposal for. Of course, it would have been nice to hear us poor, beleaugered proposal writers lauded, too.

I talked a bit with Boss's Boyfriend at the party, too. He's a heck of a nice guy. Boss has good taste. Though I get the feeling that BB might think I'm a lesbian. For the record, I'm not. But I'm also not shocked that I put out that vibe. I like sports, I don't wear makeup very often (though I did on Friday), and I'm not exactly feminine looking. It's OK, I suppose - as long as he doesn't try to fix me up with someone.

Well, it's 2 pm. I guess I should probably try to accomplish something on my ever-growing to-do list.

So instead of doing work...

I spent the past few minutes looking at the videos on my alma mater's website. I was pretty impressed, both with the students on their and with how the university and the campus have changed since my days there.

Oh, and the professor's video on there? He was a big part of the reason I ended up choosing Gannon. He presented at an open house in the Pittsburgh area, and I was really impressed. He also contacted me after that to find out if I had any questions, etc. Gannon really won me over with that personal touch. The financial aid didn't hurt either, of course.

Choosing to attend Gannon over Dickenson really was the best choice I have ever made in my life (granted, that isn's saying much give some of the bad decisions I have made over the years). I'm certain that there isn't another school in the country where I could have gotten the combination of a good education, strong faith formation, and personal attention.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I'm proud to be a Gannon University grad.

I Want This Award

I think if I ever get back to serious work on The Greater American Novel, I shall have to include a sex scene so that I can win this award. I guarantee that I can write something awkward and painful enough to at least get an honorable mention.

More Louisiana Food

In his last comment, LP mentioned andouille. That's another thing that is pretty foreign in my corner of the northeast/midwest. Like he said it is a smoked sausage, and the closest thing I can think of that it is similar to is kielbasa (boy, that is a horrbile sentence). Actually, it might be closer to ring balogna, if that was smoked and spiced. The first time I had it in jambalya, I actually thought it was kielbasa, but the texture is a little different, and the spices are also different. Unless you get some homemade varieties from little stores in little towns, it isn't overly spiced (as in hot). It really is quite tasty. And there is a festival celebrating it in LaPlace.

That is one of the things I've learned since moving here. Up north, we generally think of Cajun and Creole as being burn-your-mouth spicy. It really isn't. It does have a bit more of a kick than, say, German food. But really, if it is done well, the spice just brings out the natural flavor of the food rather than masking it. That's not to say I haven't had a few jambalyas and gumbos where all I can taste is the hot, and I've been to a few crawfish boils where I couldn't taste the crawfish because of the boiling mix. But if it is done well, you taste the hot, but you also taste the andouille, and the duck, and the turkey, and whatever else is in the jambalya or gumbo. For peasant dishes, they really are sublime if done well.

If I make the pilgrimage north next year, perhaps I'll bring some Louisiana food with me. Y'all will be surprised at how good it is (darlin').

For Those of You Who are Interested

Here is Wikipedia's list of Louisiana Festivals. It is really incomplete. Right off the bat, I can see at least three that are missing, and there are probably more.

Also, if you are wondering what boudin is (LP mentions it in his comment on the previous post). Here is a link that will tell you. I never though a rice sausage would be good, but it is mighty tasty. Like everything in LA, depending on who makes it, it can be too spicy.

And if you live in another part of the country and would like to try this interesting concotion, here is a link to a website that links to a whole bunch of place that sell boudin, including some that sell on the internet and ship to other places.

Who Knew?

I knew Louisiana was home to about a million food festivals every year, like the Shrimp and Petroleum Festival. But I did not kow that it was home to the Meatpie Festival.

I was looking for a recipie, in case you are wondering how I happened upon that tidbit of info.

If You are Intrigued...

...by the WikiBand meme, but don't have the patience to click seventeen times on Random Article (or if you are not working on resumes for really boring people and therefore don't need a diversion), click on this link and it will do it for you.