Sorry...

…for the depressing posts lately.  I’m just going through a desert period, I guess.  I feel useless at work, uncreative at home, and just generally like a useless lump of flesh.  

I really wish that people would recognize what I am capable of doing.  I seem to be getting shoved back into an administrative role because we don’t have anyone else to fill that role.  I’m not complaining…much.  I don’t mind taking on my fair share of those responsibilities.

But honestly?  They bore me.  I lose interest, my attention wanders, and I’m not an effective employee.  It’s just like being in elementary school again, except I can’t read ahead in my reader or sneak a book inside my desk.

I just wish that they (the powers that be, I mean) would give me an assignment some time that would actually utilize skill I have, instead of giving that to other people.  I have experience in designing and writing training materials.  I’ve done more work with PowerPoint than I care to admit.  You need research done, I’m your person.  I actually enjoy it.

But I don’t get that kind of stuff.  I get to pull staff spreadsheets, and mess around with numbers (which I hate) and all that stuff.  Then, when I make a mistake with some numbers (a mistake I made in September, by the way, that nobody caught until two days ago), I get chewed out.  I can’t help it I don’t know case mix values off by heart.  I don’t work with them.  They people who do saw the chart repeatedly since September, but nobody seems to have seen that.

I have this overwhelming fear that I am going to be fired for that even though I have no way of knowing if it was my fault or not (the programming problem, not the error).  Is it rational?  Probably not.  

Well, guess I’ll get back to the wonderful world of…whatever it is that I’m doing.

Sigh.