Sunday, August 05, 2007

I'm having a bit of summer malaise. It is hot. Really hot. And humid. Like, the air feels heavy against your body humid. It's hard to care about much.

I missed church, again. I could have made it this week, easily. But I didn't. It's hard to make it to my church in the summer. A good bit of the congregation disappears, even the ones not attached to LSU. It is a chore to worship there in the summer.

I know it shouldn't matter, but I don't like it when worship feels like penance. And it isn't like the people who are there are any different (except we all look like we may die in the heat. Midwesterners of northern European descent aren't built for Louisiana summers). The pastor isn't any different, and the quality of his sermons doesn't decline. We have no choir, but for musically impaired me, that isn't that big of a deal.

I guess that leaves me. I guess I'm going through another spiritual dry spell. They have been coming more frequently since the CCC. I've never been able to get back to that point where I knew God as more than a distant creator.

You know what, that isn't exactly true. It would be more correct to say that my experience of God has changed a lot since then. I don't know if I can quanitfy what that change is, though.

I think I need a retreat. Or a spiritual director. Or something. Any suggestions?

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