Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Sometimes

Sometimes, I wish I were someone else.

Oh, don’t get me wrong.  I’m generally not horribly discontent with my life.  I usually like my job, even when I’m in a downswing.  I don’t hate my apartment, or my car, or any other possessions.  I have the Professor to write to.

But sometimes I want to be a different person.  I want to be someone who is chronically chipper.  I don’t want to have random crying jags at my desk like I am this afternoon.  I want to be successful and pretty and financially comfortable.

Instead, I’m me.  And no matter how much I may want to, I can’t change that, even for a little while.

That sucks.

2 comments:

Amy said...

I've been there too, Sheryl. I think it's human nature to want to be someone else. But remember--God created you to be...well, YOU. And that's a beautiful thing.

And besides, "chronically chipper" sounds really...annoying! ;)

Sheryl said...

True, true.

I was just having a bad day that day, I think. I'm better now, sorta kinda.

Actually, a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was at low thyroid. I'm starting to be able to tell when that is the case.

I must have been really low, too, because my doctor upped my dosage two steps instead of the one she has been doing. Now, of course, I can't sleep.

But not sleeping has it's advantages, too. Last night I had the revelation that I am going to save the world through crochet.

It made perfect sense at 4 a.m. Now, it just makes my wrists hurt.