Tuesday, January 02, 2007


Before you start wondering, I haven't forgotten my promised campaign post. It will just be delayed a couple of days. I figure I owe it to President Ford, the first president I can remember (I'm a little too young to actually remember Nixon's time in office). The 1976 campaign was the first where I more or less understood what was going on. I clearly remember my dad reading editorial cartoons to me about the campaign and explaining them. Yes, we were a somewhat weird family.

But, my friend, this post is about commercials. Specifically, bad commercials. This article in Slate doesn't mention the series of commercials that drive me up a wall. Those would be the air freshener commercials (can't remember if it is Glade or Airwick) with the cartoon animals talking about how much better their lives are with this air freshener. Now, the octopus mother annoys me because she and her offspring don't seem to be living under water. The new one with the skunk husband annoys me because why would his wife care if he smells if she is a skunk too? But then again, she may not be.

The commercial I hate most of all is the one with the elephant married to a centipede. WTF? How would that even work? Think about the scale here, people. Even if you are talking about one of those crazy, huge, jungle centipedes, The elephant is still about 4000 times bigger. And what would the offspring be like. And why are animals suddenly concerned about smelling bad anyway? And where would an elephant and a centipede meet and fall in love. It absolutely drives me nuts!

The new ones for the cough medicine with the mother animals and their babies make me nuts, too. The one where the baby wolf almost gets shot by the farmer because he coughs when he was out trying to count sheep was bad enough, but the one with the anteater not being able to eat ants because his nose is stuffed up is horrible. Especially as we watch the ants race toward his mouth after he takes the cough medicine. These commercials try to be cute but end up being creepy and violent.

OK. I am done ranting now. Except for this article. People who treat their pets like they are people, and in fact treat them better than they would treat some people, should have their heads examined, and should be forced to pay a fee equal to the amount they waste on pet massage and nail polish to a charity that supports the homeless or the working poor. When I am president, I shall issue an executive order to that effect.

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