Sunday, September 09, 2007

I did something I'm not entirely proud of today. I snuck out of church (yes, I made it...).

Oh, I didn't leave before the service was over, but I did intentionally sit in the back on the side aisle (as opposed to the center, where the pastor greets people as they leave), and as soon as the assisting minister finished the dismissal, I shot out the side door.

Why, you ask? Today was the young adult lunch, and I didn't want to go, but I didn't want to tell anyone why and I didn't want to lie.

Yeah, I know. Stupid, right? I just feel guilty about it nonetheless. The young adult group at our church has become very couple-centric and/or very, very young. The only other single people are undergrads. I'm 36 years old. I am almost old enough to be their parent. The couples are mostly younger, too - mid to late 20's. I just don't fit there.

But I don't really fit anywhere else, either. I am way, way to young for the ladies who make baby blankets (by about 40 years), I can't be active in any of the music ministries (due to the fact that I am tone deaf and have no rhythm), and I am way too young (and employed) to participate in the weekly Bible study, which is at 11 a.m. on Thursdays. That's pretty much the sum total of the what happens at my church, except for campus ministry, but that's a whole 'nother animal

I understand the reason for all this. Our membership literally spans five civil parishes (and actually, we have registered members in a couple others, but who drives 75 miles to go to church every week?). Nobody is wants to come into town for something that isn't on Sunday morning. But still, it's hard for me not to be involved in something.

Sigh. I'm not having a dark night of the soul, but I am having a bit of a dark night of the...body? Mind? I don't know.


tomzgrrl said...

I can only imagine that being intensely introverted in general -- and being in a different life-circumstance from many of the church members -- and being Northern (gasp!) -- all of it combines to set you in a place where nothing appeals or calls to you. I prayed for you this week -- hoping that you are able to find some thread that ties you to your church community.

Sheryl said...

Actually, the northern thing isn't that big a deal. Almost everyone in my church is originally from the north or the midwest. That is a much, much better thing than the situation at the CCC

The introversion thing is a bigger deal, because I'm not likely to try to start something, or suggest something be started. But I have no problem with joining things that already exist.

Sigh. I wish our adult forum weren't so early (9:30 a.m. on Sunday). They are actually discussing some interesting topics this year.