I just saw my first pictures of New Orleans and Biloxi on MSN.

God.

There is nothing else I can say.

The Aftermath

I'm safe. Thank God. I have no power at home, and probably won't until next week, but I'm safe.

I don't have the words right now to describe what is happening in South Louisiana. It's beyond overwhelming. There are about 67,000 evacuees in Baton Rouge alone, and about that many in Houston.

We lost at least 10 of our agencies, and almost all of those employees lost their homes.

I'll write more when I've been able to process a little bit more.

If you want to help, donations to the Red Cross would be appreciated.

God is Good

Katrina's eye has taken a slight turn east and weakened a little bit. She's still a category 4, but the eye is less massive and less organized. We will most likely still lose power here in EBR, and New Orleans will probably still have some flooding, but no where no where near the catastrophic mess that was forecast just six hours ago.

The coast is still going to get hit hard, both in Louisiana and Mississippi. I hate to sound cold, but that's a good thing. They are used to these storms there, and are better equipped to deal with them. New Orleans wouldn't have been able to deal.

I just heard something go bump outside. The wind is picking up, and something must have flown into something else.

I'm going to lose power sometime soon. I'll update when it comes back on.

Thanks for the prayers. The Big Guy is listening.

Waiting is the Hardest Part

Been watching the coverage on the local news. The anticipation of what is going to happen is almost as bad as what will happen.

I wish my boss had called me. I'm worried about her and her family. She literally lives in the middle of nowhere. The good news is that she lives on a sand and gravel pit. I don't think there will be a problem with obtaining sandbags.

The news is still scary. I'll post again around midnight if I still have power. I think I will. We've only had two small rain bands pass through so far, thought the wind is picking up a little bit.

Weird Observations

It's funny how life goes on even when we are facing a potentially devastating storm.

People are out doing laundry (myself included). The students in my building are treating it as a bonus day off classes. There's a bunch of them partying in the pool right now. Someone else is barbequeing.

I don't know if that is a testament to the youth of the residents of my building, or an acknowledgement that there is nothing we can do so we might as well just go on.

Well, my car is fuled up. My bathtub is full, and I will soon have clean clothes. The office is closed tomorrow (which I was anticipating).

Obladee Obladah. Life goes on.

Here Comes the Rain

The first of the outer rain bands has just hit EBR. People are still leaving New Orleans.

A lot of people in my building have taped their windows. I don't see the point. If a tree is going to come through your window, a piece of masking tape isn't going to do anything to stop it.

I should drive home to Pittsburgh. I'm really scared.

Katrina Update

NOAA has just issued a weather bulletin that says that, for all intents and purposes, New Orleans is essentially going to be destroyed.

I really am freaked by all this. This is the first time a hurricane has made me really worried. The two parishes to the immediate east of EBR are under mandatory evacuation.

They said it should make landfall around 3 a.m. I doubt I'll sleep tonight.

Katrina

I've been in South Louisiana for three years now, and this is the first time I've been afraid of a hurricane.

Katrina is a category 5 storm now. If it continues on it's current path, it could absolutely devastate the Louisiana and Mississippi Gulf Coast. It also has the potential to cause tremendous damage to New Orleans, which sits below sea level and is essentially shaped like a bowl, just waiting to be filled up with the expected downpours (parts of Florida got over 20 inches when it hit there).

I'm east of where it is expected to hit, which is good. That's always the weaker side of the storm. The electricity guy said this morning that we could potentially be without power for several days though. I have an electric stove and can't cook if that happens.

I'll keep updating as long as I can today if anything changes. If you happen upon this page and if you think about it, praying for us down here in the Gulf South would be appreciated.

Really?

You are Percy Bysshe Shelley! Famous for your
dreamy abstraction and your quirky verse,
you're the model "sensitive poet." A
vegetarian socialist with great personal charm
and a definite way with the love poem, you
remain an idol for female readers. There are
dozens of cute anecdotes about you, and I love
you.


Which Major Romantic Poet Would You Be (if You Were a Major Romantic Poet)?
brought to you by Quizilla

I always fancied myself more of a William Blake type, but OK.

Uh...Music?

I had a weird weekend in terms of music for several really weird reasons.

First, I was driving somewhere and listening to Weekend America on NPR. I find myself listening to NPR a lot lately, which has nothing to with anything except I thought I'd note it. Anyway, one of the hosts said that his friend has a theory that whatever song is number 1 on the day you are born has a profound effect on your life. You can go to this website and find out what song was number 1 on your birthday.

Well, of course I had to do it. And on May 13, 1971, the number 1 song was...

Joy to the World by Three Dog Night

Huh.

I didn't even know they did a version of that song. I'm only familiar with Credence Clearwater Revival's version.

Well, I can't say I ever drank a bullfrog's wine. And I don't know that there is anything else in that song that applies to my life even remotely. Jeremiah is my favorite book of the Bible though. Maybe, if you stretch it really, really, really far, you can make that apply.

Interestingly, the first time I did this, I got My Sweet Lord by George Harrison. I have no idea what date I put in to get that, because I can't get it to come up again. That would actually be vaguely more fitting for me.

No, I never became a Hari Krishna, but I have always been fascinated by world religions. I had a theory that I was daft and overconfident enough to try to prove when I was in 10th grade for my IEP in World Cultures in the gifted program. My theory was that there was only one God, but that that divine being manifests itself differently in different cultures. That, in and of itself isn't necessarily a radical idea. The overconfidence comes in the fact that I tried to prove it, at least as far as I could and get away with it in a public high school.

Well, needless to say I failed. I learned a heck of a lot not only about major world religions, but also some tribal religions and cults throughout the world, though.

So on Sunday in Church, the Gospel reading was from...Matthew, I think (yeah, I grew up Catholic - we're not good at the Bible thing). It was the reading where Jesus asks his apostles, "Who do you say that I am?" and Simon Peter responds, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the Living God." The pastor based part of his sermon on the whole idea of faith versus reason, and that's when I had this revelation about what my folly was back in 10th grade (it's only taken my 19 years to figure it out).

God isn't a geometry theorum to be tested and proven. God just is. I can no more prove God that I can prove that there will be 7 feet of snow in South Louisiana in December 2015. It isn't withing my capacity as a human being.

When I was in 10th grade that was unacceptable to me. Despite the fact that I'm one of those abstract creative types, when it came to God, I wanted proof. I never didn't believe, I just wanted the cold hard facts that showed that what I believed was true.

Now, I'm OK with the fact that I can't prove God. Maybe I've mellowed. Maybe I've realized that proof isn't always everything it's cracked up to be. Maybe I've just come to terms with the fact that there are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy (had to get my Shakespeare in there).

So, the whole point of this rambling post is to say that I'm OK with the fact that God just is.

Oh, and the other weird thing that happened with music this weekend is that someone in church asked me if I would be willing to be in the bell choir.

.

.

.

I have no rhythm. I have no music. I'm tone deaf. I'm a horrible choice to ring bells.

So why did I say I'd think about it?

Anyone have a spare gmail invite?

I'm getting ready to leave AOL and need to switch to web-based e-mail. Gmail would make me happy.

Sorry for the blatant begging.

OH...

And my computer is back and working, too. Though I'd forgotten how slow dial-up is...

Guess I've Adapted to the Deep South a Little...

Your Linguistic Profile:

55% General American English

25% Dixie

15% Yankee

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

I'm currently reading Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott. My friend Amy recommended this book to me when it first came out, along with Bird by Bird, and I had every intention of reading them. And I am - it just took me 6 yeard to get around to it. Interestingly enough, I am now just about the age Amy was when she recommended them. Hmm. Must be a mid-30s, searching for a deeper spiritual life thing.

Anyhow, I picked this book up because it was referenced in another book that my pastor loaned me. When I saw it, I was reminded of that long ago promise to read it, and I reserved it at the library. It came in yesterday, and when I picked it up I couldn't put it down. Lamott just has a way of expressing herself that is simultaneously poetic and straight-forward. And admire how she is comfortable enough in who she is to lay her life out for all to read about. It takes guts to be that vulnerable.

I've been thinking about my own topsy-turvy journey of faith lately. There was never truly a time in my life when I didn't belive that God existed. Sure, there have been plenty of times that I doubted if God cared about li'l ol' me. And it's somewhat beyond my comprehension that anyone could ever think that there wasn't a power greater than themselves in the universe.

But by the same token, I'm a little jealous of those who were atheists who have come to believe. I wish I could remember that moment, that instant, where I realized the reality of God.

Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful that I was rocked to sleep every night of my infanthood with "Jesus Loves Me." And I'm grateful that I can remember my parents being so proud of me for being able to say the Lord's Prayer before I started kindergarten, when so many of my classmates were still learing it in first grade. And I'm more grateful than I can ever express that God has given me the gift of faith.

But sometimes I wish I knew that spark, that "a-ha" moment when I knew that God was real. I mean, I've had encounters with God (and when I say "God," in my head we're talking the Trinity) that I can recall as being more intimate than words can express. And at times in my life, my relationship with God was so close that God seemed almost physically near me.

Still, I can't help feeling like I'm missing out on something big. Is that petty and conceited of me? Perhaps.

I do have more that I want to say on this whole topic. I'm hoping to have computer access restored at home soon. Until then (or until I get to the library and have time to write)...

Still Alive...

...despite the infrequent posting.

It's hard to blog when you don't have internet access at home. The library has timers on their computers, and I inevitably run out of time before I'm finished writing. And I've been busy at work an unable to sneak a few minutes in.

I swear I'm taking my computer to get it fixed on Friday. Then you can all be treated to more of the wonder that is me.

I Have a New Goal in Life

I want to speak at the National Association of Business Educators (or whatever they call themselves), and tell them to stop obsessing over whether or not their keyboarding students are looking at their fingers when they type. I look at my fingers occassionally, and I type faster now than I did in when I took typing in high school, when Ms. Allie gave me a D for looking at my fingers. Besides, nobody ever got fired for looking at their fingers when they type. Managers don't care about your style - they just want accuracy and results.

Thank you for listening to my dreams.

Blah, Blah, and More Blah

Well, I just found out that I'm working all weekend, again. Thought I'd take some time at the end of the day here to blog, since it seems I will never get out of this office.

Well, I know some of you are waiting to hear what happened on the worst day of my professional life. Here's your chance.

That morning AC, J, and I were to present the work we had been doing on an analysis to T, our boss. AC, who is the analyst in our group, was out at some training class when T first got wind of the project from BB, her boss. To do the preliminary work, J, T, and I literally stayed up all night one night mining data from a variety of databases (and since my computer is not up to snuff lately and since I don't have a company laptop, I spent it in the office). When AC got back in two days later, T went over the whole scope of the project, and exactly what our roles were to be (I was to gather the needed data in certain areas, J was to do a particular type of analysis, and AC was to coordinate it all for her statistical stuff). Well, I did my part and then some. J did her part, and AC didn't do anything remotely resembling what T wanted because what she did do showed that the differences in revenue weren't statistically significant, so she figured she didn't have to do anything more, despite the fact that BB wanted the information.

Oh, and the only time that whole week that AC spoke to me was to tell me that what I was doing (what T and BB wanted) was nice, but she was going to need me to reformat all the data for her in order to do her correlation analysis. I asked her why she couldn't use the data in the form that already existed and she said, in a very condescending tone, "Well, you just wouldn't understand."

I lost it at that point and responded, "Look, I'm doing what T asked me to do. You do what you need to do, and I'll go from there."

She replied to me saying (again in a condescending tone), "I'm just trying to communicate with you, Sheryl. You do have to get so upset."

I replied saying, "I apologize if I'm a little snippy, but I'm tired. J, T and I stayed up all night working on this while you were at your class. I'm trying to do this and my regular work and core team work, and work for BB, and work for JC. Forgive me if I seem stressed." (JC is another co-worker, not Jesus - though I do try to work for Him, too)

She didn't speak to me again that whole week

Well, needless to say, T was not happy in the slightest when we "presented" our work. She put J, AC and me in a conference room and told us she expected us to have what she wanted by the end of the day. If I hadn't gone further than I was supposed to with the analysis, we wouldn't have hand any data to work with.

What an excruciatingly painful process. AC, for all her Masters degrees and statistical knowledge, has no idea about analyzing information. There was one particular statistic she kept insisting had no impact on revenue, and I kept showing her that it did, in fact, have a huge impact on revenue. We kept going around and around, AC getting more frustrated, me getting angry, and J trying her best to get the job done. Finally, J had enough and went and told T that either AC or J was going home, but that we couldn't keep going around in circles.

T came into the conference room and tried one more time to explain things to AC. She just kept getting redder and redder, and seemed on the verge of a breakdown. T then took her into her office. A few minutes later T came in to get me. She asked me to tell her exactly what transpired during the week she was gone (she was at a corporate leadership meeting). I did, and I discovered that AC was trying to pin our failure solely on me. Now, I have no problem in saying that I could have handled things better. I told T that the day before, and I said that in front of AC. But T made it clear that AC was to come to J and me and to get our information to use in her analysis, but she never did. T began to lay into AC while we were there, but before she got very far, she sent me back to the conference room.

Well, a little while later, AC came back to the room, visibly upset, to get her things. She said to me, "Sheryl, I don't know what I did to make you so angry with me, but how could you do this to me?" I told her that there was nothing personal, but that when T asked me how things went, I had to tell her the truth. She then said, "I don't understand! I've always liked you, I've always treated you well..." etc. I started to respond to her, but then I stopped myself saying that I didn't want to say something I'd regret. Like I know she pawned her work off on me when she was planning her daughter's wedding. Or I know that she was doing work for her other job while I was downloading and converting file after file that she was supposed to be doing. Or that I resented the fact that I did 3/4 of the market analyses that went out with her name on them. Or...well, you get the picture. I then went out into the hall for a bit to cool down.

When I came back, AC wasn't gone yet, and T ushered me into her office to wait until she left. After she did, T came in to see how I was, and I told her what happened, which she made me write up for HR. Then she, J and I went over what we still needed to do.

The next day when I came in, T said that AC would be in, but was to sit at her desk and work and not speak to anyone. T also told me that she was working behind closed doors that day. A little later on, T sent me an e-mail telling me to go home at 2:30, and to take J's laptop and work at home.

Oh, and AC wrote me this apology:

Sheryl,
II apologize for anything I've done or said that offended you. It truly was unintentional. I certainly don't have any ill feelings toward you. I was happy that you got hired as you work very hard and I enjoy working with you. I hope I can make it up to you.

If you knew AC at all, you would know how insincere that really was.

Well, after I left that day, T fired AC.

I've been feeling guilty about it and making myself ill over it (plus the million things that I seem to get volunteered for) for the past two weeks. I know it isn't my fault. AC was not a competant analyst. Nonetheless, whether it is because I used to more or less work with her or because she was sick, or whatever it was, I felt guilty.

A wise person once told me (or I read somewhere) that it is the height of arrogance to feel guilty over something you can't control. Knowing that intellectually and knowing that in your heart are two different things, though.

So that's the whole sordid story. Perhaps tomorrow at the library I'll write about the crappy day I had today, which started with oversleeping, had an adventure that probably resulted in me breaking my toe in the middle, and finding out I had to work this weekend at the end.

Paranoia

Not mine, but someone else's.

Even though I don't exactly consider myself Catholic anymore (I think), I still read the Pittsburgh Catholic, mainly because I sometimes see people I know in it. I also read the columns, because sometimes they really are interesting.

Today I read a column by Robert Lockwood, who is the general manager of the paper. Now, I've heard him speak before, and I know he tends to see anti-Catholic consipiricies (did I spell that right?) around every corner, and in every piece of legislation to wind it's way through Congress. But this is ridiculous.

In this article, he is comparing oranges to bananas - they aren't even the same shape! Funding and assistance to non-public schools has nothing to do with the display of religious symbols on government owned property.

To be honest, I don't think the government should provide aid to non-public schools. In the vast majority of cases, non-public schools are little more than a status symbol to the parents who send their children there. It's an excuse to turn a blind eye to the fact that our public schools are failing. When the people with money and power don't have to care whether or not their children will receive a quality eduction in a public school, they don't care whether any child does. It isn't just.

Now, I don't have issue with the public school district using their buses for non-public school students, as long as it is done across the board (in Louisiana, only Catholic schools can use public school buses, none of the others can). And I don't have a problem with non-public school students receiving remedial aid from something like an intermediate unit (as they do in Pennsylvania). But funding for actual instruction? Tuition vouchers? Not so much.

And again, I don't understand the big deal with displaying the Ten Commandments on the grounds of county courthouses. These were not only religious law to the ancient Hebrews, but civil law as well. In addition, they frankly form the basis for much of the civil law in the western world. It isn't a big deal for them to be there.

But to suggest that the court orders that they be removed are anti-Catholic are ridiculous. In fact, the vast majority of people arguing against their removal are not Catholic, but are fundamentalists and memebers of the religious right. I bet if you interviewed the average "Catholic-on-the-street," the majority wouldn't have an opinion one way or another.

Sorry about the rant. I don't do it often, but I had to get it off my chest.

Hmm...

Don't quite understand why this is first, when the Sacrament one had a higher percentage, but Oh, well.

You scored as Mystical Communion Model. Your model of the church is Mystical Communion, which includes both People of God and Body of Christ. The church is essentially people in union with Christ and the Father through the Holy Spirit. Both lay people and clergy are drawn together in a family of faith. This model can exalt the church beyond what is appropriate, but can be supplemented with other models. Sacrament model 73% Mystical Communion Model 72% Servant Model 61% Herald Model 39% Institutional Model 17% What is your model of the church? [Dulles] created with QuizFarm.com

I know you are waiting....

But I don't have 'net access at home right now (yeah, computer problems again). Tomorrow should be a very quiet day at work, so I'll try to write the deep stuff then.