I Want to Get Away

I have been talking about wanting to go on retreat for a good year now.  I’ve been looking for retreat centers around here, looking at their programs, etc.  I hadn’t been able to find anything anywhere that appealed, until I happened upon this place.  I really, really want to go.  I want to spend a week away from civilization, away from all the things that distract me from finding and listening to God.  I want to indulge my creative impulses without being pulled away by an urgent issue at work, or a mindless show on TV.  In short, I want to get to my center and rediscover myself.  

Now I just have to figure out how to do it.

I'm Alive

I may have the Plague, though. Think kindly of me when they find my cold, decomposing body next to my plastic Nemo fish which is wearing an aborted attempt at a knitted hat.

But seriously, as soon as my brain is de-mucousfied, I'll write about my experience this weekend. It's a heartwarming tale of French Quarter debauchery (does drinking a Coke in one bar count as debauchery?) and religious fervor (I almost typed fever, and considering I had one Sunday, maybe it would be better if I had).

Stay tuned for the next episode of...well...there is a reason my blog is titled Insert Groovy Title Here.

I'm Old

Well, the next thing to come in the grand, acquire-a-life-for-Sheryl scheme is posting a picture.  I think I’m delaying my responses intentionally so I don’t have to reach that stage.  I have been rather camera shy for as long as I can remember.  I’m not hideous; I just don’t like the way I look on film.

But nevertheless, a co-worker is taking my picture tomorrow.  

I do have to ask myself, though, why I am doing this?  Why am I so afraid of dying alone all of a sudden?  Why do I have this brand new desire to procreate?

A couple of my friends have dubbed this my midlife crisis.  One friend was telling me that when her husband turned 35, he went out and bought a boat and trailer and all new fishing gear.  Another said that when hers turned 35, he bought a dirtbike and a four wheeler, both of which he insists on riding at top speed without helmets.  I suppose deciding that I need to have a man and a family is pretty safe, sane, and inexpensive compared to that.

And I don’t really believe I’m going to die alone somewhere surrounded by fish and teeny tiny hats that I attempted to knit for them.  No, by the time I get to that stage, Social Security will have gone bankrupt and I’ll die alone under a bridge and get eaten by cats instead.

Forgive my maudlin mood and self-deprecating humor today.  I kind of forgot to take my “happy pill” today, and that makes me a little moody and weird.

So where was I?  

Ah yes.  My midlife crisis.  Although really, I don’t think it is a true crisis.  I mean, I’m not like the mid-30’s single women you see all over the media.  They fall into one of two categories: the sluts, who sleep with anyone with a…well, use your imagination; and the whiners, who constantly bemoan their lack of a significant other.  Both stereotypes annoy me.  

See, that’s the reason I don’t want the main character in the novel I’m working on to have a romantic attachment.  She has entirely too much other stuff going on in her life to be worried about  a significant other.  Plus, I really want to make the point, even if it is obliquely, that a woman does not need to depend on having a man to be happy (or vice versa – except of course for the fact that my main character is female).

More thoughts on this later.  I’ve lost all track of time, and I’m about to be late for a very important date.

Love Life Update

I know y’all are just dying to hear about how the eharmony thing is going.  At least you are if you are anything like my coworkers.  The whole office is obsessed with my love life now, as are their spouses.  Apparently, they are all proud of me for taking this chance.

Well, I’m currently in conversation with five different guys.  The conversations are at various stages.  I like eharmony because everything is anonymous until you are ready for it not to be.  For example, when you reach the “open communication” stage, the initial e-mails are exchanged through the eharmony website.  Your e-mail address isn’t released until you are ready for it to be released.  

I really don’t know how this all will turn out, but I’m having a lot of fun right now.  I’m also kind of scared of that “open communication” step.  It’s been quite a while since I have been in a relationship (like, several years), and I have never been in a really serious relationship.  I’m also afraid of what will happen if things develop to that serious point.  I’ve lived on my own for the past 11, almost 12 years.  I don’t know if I can live with another person.  And what if he as kids?  Am I ready to be a ready-made mom?

I suppose we’ll find out soon.